2 years...God is Faithful!

I remember February 4, 2011 like it was yesterday. Those that are close to us probably would say it was very hard to watch Scott & I go through such pain. I remember this day for two reasons 1. I want to celebrate a beautiful life that was being made inside of me 2. I want women to know they are not alone & they don't have to deal with miscarriage/loss of a baby/infertility alone AND 3. God is faithful and always at work! From the moment we had our miscarriage on Feb 4; God was present. This is true for any struggle you are going through. For any of you who have gotten a positive pregnancy test you understand you instantly fall in love with that little baby inside of you. Scott and I had three months to fall in love with our first little babe before it was taken away on Feb 4 but those three months were wonderful, and joyful & when I get to heaven I can not wait to meet that little one. Feb 4, 2011 remains a blur to me (thankfully) but luckily I still have memories of the most beautiful people pulling together for us that day. I can remember the minute our family and friends got the call; it did not matter what they were doing they dropped it all to be there. I can remember our family gathering in our bedroom after we were home praying over us. I can remember the beautiful arrangements of flowers that were sent to us (our whole kitchen was full!). And I can remember God's presence fully as he began to heal us. The truth is if we didn't go through struggle we as humans would stray from God. He loves us enough to give us troubles so we can lean hard into him. He gives us relationships as well at just the right time when he knows we need it most. For instance, five years ago we met The McKnights. The McKnights are such an awesome couple! Trey is a fire fighter and worship leader. Jamie has a beautiful voice as well and she is a wonderful stay at home mommy to their new precious baby Mason. We instantly formed a connection with this sweet couple and have been a part of two different small groups with them in the past few years. God knew what he was doing all along when he crossed our path with the McKnights. We miscarried February 2011; the McKnights had a miscarriage January 2012. We were able to minister to them through such a tough time and now looking back it is clear and evident God orchestrated this relationship because he knew we would need each other! I am providing the link to Jamie & Trey's story http://treysmack.wordpress.com/2012/08/02/77/ Scott and I now have our precious Copelyn. God could not have delivered a more perfect gift to us. She is a ball of sunshine in our lives. Always laughing, always smiling. She is the image of God's redemption in our lives. And even cooler God gave us Copelyn 1 year later almost to the day that we had our miscarriage. One hard lesson I had to learn was God gives us suffering so you can later share him. I had to realize what this season was for and realize this was my story that I had to share to help others who go through the same things! I had to trust that God was bigger then anything I could ever long for and he knows what is best for me. God knows the desires of each of our hearts! Let me be clear though just because we now have our sweet, perfect Copelyn that doesn't mean we don't still feel the pain or remember that time in our life. It is still in our hearts. We may not talk about it as often but it is still there and very real. We recently shared our stories with our small group. We started from the beginning of our lives to present. Scott told our story of the miscarriage. My strong husband still tears up when he talks about it. As he told the story he just cried! Oh it broke my heart because I know to revisit that time in our life is painful. But the truth is we are both so thankful for that time in our life. We are stronger in our marriage, we are stronger in our faith, and we are able to appreciate the miracle of our little girl so much more! Whatever the struggle in your life is right now please know that God loves you. Please know that God will see you through your struggle. Lean hard into him, pray, and ask for healing. "But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8: 37-39