Apple Tree

I was having a conversation with a sweet friend yesterday through text messages. She lost a baby a few years back and I have asked for her advice many times throughout this process. I have been wanting to create a memory of our first baby to always remember it and to always be able to share with our other children that they will have a sister/brother waiting on all of us when we get to heaven. My friend gave me the idea of planting a tree that would be in bloom close to when the baby would have been born. For us, the baby's due date was August 18. So what came to mind was planting an apple tree in memory of our sweet angel.

Why an apple tree? Apples are my favorite fruit especially in the fall when they are sweet & crisp. I think every time I go to taste an apple from that tree it will fill my soul with sweetness...the same sweetness that baby filled me with for three months.

I am excited about planting my apple tree! Now I just have to figure out where to buy one from and how exactly to plant a tree. This should be a fun adventure.

Hope

This past weekend we visited two very dear friends, Mary Ellen & Drew McMillin. They are so dear to our hearts and we love them both so much. I got to see their beautiful house for the first time and I was in awe at how beautiful sweet Mary Ellen decorates. They live in Nashville and oh boy do I wish we could move there. There is something about this place that gets me every time. I am not sure if it is the beautiful rolling hills in the background, the civil war built stone walls, or just the feeling of peacefulness I get when I visit BUT something gets me intrigued and keeps me intrigued for weeks after leaving every single time. We had a beautiful weekend! Friday night we went out for Mexican night and stayed in to watch a movie! Saturday we went to the Loveless Cafe (YUMMY!), strolled around downtown Franklin, took naps, then went out to Arrington Vineyards Winery where Mary Ellen works. We enjoyed a nice wine tasting and got to spend time with some of Drew and Mary Ellen's community group. Their community group was just fabulous!

Scott and I started talking to one of the girls in the group named Ruthie. She was so sweet and it was such a joy to get to know her. We talked about her awesome career and got to sharing a little bit of our life stories. Ruthie writes a blog as well and today I was pleasantly surprised to see our story of the miscarriage on her blog. I am including it below because she is such a wonderful writer and it brought me back to a part of a book that helped me heal tremendously.

Here is Ruthie's post: On Saturday night, I went with some friends to Arrington Vineyards — tasted some incredible wine — and met a girl named Lauren. She asked me what I did in Nashville and loving every opportunity to brag about my company {Thomas Nelson}, I started my usual speech, “I work for Thomas Nelson - a book publishing company – our biggest book recently was Heaven is for Real – have you heard of it?”

“Yes.” she said and proceeded to tell me the powerful influence the true account of a boy’s trip to heaven and back had on her. “We had a miscarriage in February...”

She shared with me the deep pain of losing a child. Ecstatic with the news, by the 10th week she had told everyone she knew and even shared her pregnancy on Facebook. Week 12 – for reasons her and her husband still don’t understand – her baby died. Devastating. ( http://bit.ly/pRXEKM Lauren’s post about the miscarriage)

In Heaven is For Real a 4-year-old boy miraculously survives a surgery — or so his parents and doctors think. But after surgery, he casually commented about meeting God and Jesus, his time in heaven, details about heaven matching the book of Revelation, what his parents were doing during his surgery, and encounters with his grandfather and sister.

The most heart-gripping, hope filled scene takes place in the family’s kitchen, in a conversation between Colton and his mom.

“Mommy, I have two sisters.” She corrected him (he only has one). He insisted.

“You had a baby die in your tummy, didn’t you?” Colton matter-of-factly asked his mom.

“Who told you I had a baby die in my tummy?” his mom replied furious. She had never told him about her miscarriage — described as the most painful event in her life.

Colton replied with no hesitation, “She did, Mommy. She said she died in your tummy.” Colton went on to describe MEETING HIS SISTER — a sister his parents had never mentioned, because of Colton’s age and the desire to forget about the miscarriage.

Colton’s mom cried with the news and Colton said to her simply, “It’s okay Mommy. She’s ok. God adopted her.”

For any of you who have ever lost a baby – I do believe what Colton shared it true: you will meet your child again, because God adopts those who don’t make it to this earth. You may not understand the “whys”, and probably never will. I don’t presume to know or understand how losing a child –even if it was your choice — has wrecked you.

But I do know the good news: Because of Jesus we are not without HOPE! Nothing you have done or experienced is too great for Him to heal. And my new friend Lauren has shown me this is true.

“Yeah, she said she just can’t wait for daddy and you to get to heaven.” Colton Burpo

You can find Ruthie's blog at www.ruthiedean.com

God is Everywhere...Always!

Such great news! God is always with you and for you where ever you may go! This was so evident to me this past weekend at a wedding we attended.

Let me start from the beginning...last year God put a beautiful person into my life named Kristy. She is funny, bold, real, and of course beautiful inside and out. Who knew that she would play such an important role in God's plan for my life. When I miscarried in February she was one of the few people I let in and boy did she do an awesome job keeping me accountable. I remember one day I called her on my way home in tears. You never have to worry about Kristy not answering her phone or making time for you because she makes all of her friends a priority! Well, this particular day when I called her I was feeling down and listing to her all the horrible things in my life at the moment. She let me get it all out but then at the end of the conversation she told me to go home and make a list of everything I am grateful for! I had like 100 things on my list and boy did my perspective of my life change.

Saturday Scott and I had the privilege of watching Kristy and her now husband Chris get married! It was perfect...not too hot...and NO RAIN! God was everywhere at this wedding.

We got to spend some time with a couple from my school. It was so great to hear their story and how God is doing amazing things in their life. I was in awe listening to the wife talk about their 5 years of marriage and the ways God had always provided for them.

We also got to meet a couple who Kristy had connected me with a few months back. This couple had lost a baby and it was so refreshing for me to hear her story a few months ago. We had only exchanged emails back and forth. She encouraged me so much and even let me in to the darkest parts of losing their baby. She now has a beautiful baby girl and it was so great to hear how God had a perfect plan in their life as well. There were bad days where I would just go back to read her testimony knowing that one day God would provide for me again. Finally, Saturday night I got to meet this couple and talk with them for a good 30 minutes. God did it once again...provided relationships abundantly to bring us through such a hard time.

My point is God never stops working or doing his thing!! He is always present and always loving you. Just in one night he provided great Godly conversation to bring my spirits up! You never know what he is going to do but one thing is for sure he does very amazing things!! And the stories he creates in peoples lives amaze me even more.

A Day on the Appalachian Trail with the Fam

Yesterday we decided to all head to the North Georgia Mountains after church. Fortunately, I married into a very active family who loves to do things outside. We hiked the Bruce Reese Trail which led into the Blood Mountain Trail yesterday. It was stunning. I literally was in awe at all of God's beauty! We took some pictures to share!

Beautiful view!!!

Oh yes that is my beautiful mother in law! Doesn't she look like she is 20?

Nikki and Joe!! Soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Joe Kwiatkowski!

My sweet husband and I!

It simply just amazes me!