What have I been called to do?

I believe that even as we become adults we still struggle with this question. I prayed along time ago that God would show me his plan for my life. At that time in my life I was trying to decide what to major in for college. I knew I wanted to help people and I absolutely loved medicine. God kept opening the doors for pharmacy school so that is the direction I headed. Over the past year God has stirred something very new into my life. I knew at the age of 5 that God gave me a unique heart and until recently I did not know how he was going to use my god given talents. My heart goes something like this. I LOVE people. Almost too much. I never meet a stranger. I am generally the pursuer in relationships because I care about other people and their needs before my own a lot of the times. Now most people would say this is not a good thing AND if you would have asked me a year ago I would have told you that I needed to change this about myself. Now I am thankful for it.

Today was one of the best days of my life besides our wedding day. I finally get it! I was listening to Andy Stanley's sermon on Jonah and the shade tree. Below is the passage that goes with the sermon:

1-2 Jonah was furious. He lost his temper. He yelled at God, "God! I knew it—when I was back home, I knew this was going to happen! That's why I ran off to Tarshish! I knew you were sheer grace and mercy, not easily angered, rich in love, and ready at the drop of a hat to turn your plans of punishment into a program of forgiveness!

4God said, "What do you have to be angry about?"

5But Jonah just left. He went out of the city to the east and sat down in a sulk. He put together a makeshift shelter of leafy branches and sat there in the shade to see what would happen to the city.

6God arranged for a broad-leafed tree to spring up. It grew over Jonah to cool him off and get him out of his angry sulk. Jonah was pleased and enjoyed the shade. Life was looking up.

7-8But then God sent a worm. By dawn of the next day, the worm had bored into the shade tree and it withered away. The sun came up and God sent a hot, blistering wind from the east. The sun beat down on Jonah's head and he started to faint. He prayed to die: "I'm better off dead!"

9Then God said to Jonah, "What right do you have to get angry about this shade tree?"

Jonah said, "Plenty of right. It's made me angry enough to die!"

10-11God said, "What's this? How is it that you can change your feelings from pleasure to anger overnight about a mere shade tree that you did nothing to get? You neither planted nor watered it. It grew up one night and died the next night. So, why can't I likewise change what I feel about Nineveh from anger to pleasure, this big city of more than 120,000 childlike people who don't yet know right from wrong, to say nothing of all the innocent animals?"

God sent a storm, a fish, a shade tree, a worm, and then the wind. Jonah is absolutely miserable. Verse 9 Is it right for you to be angry about the shade tree? The Lord said you have been concerned about this shade tree though you did not tend to it or make it grow. Verse 11 Should I not have concern for the city of Nineveh....
This is the end of the book Jonah. God was saying Jonah you are concerned about all the wrong STUFF. God is concerned about this generation of people and Jonah was concerned about HIMSELF.

We as humans get so caught up in the things that matter least in the world. For instance, when we had no rain last year we complained that our yards looked awful and then when God gave us rain we complained about our yard again!

I am guilty of this. I get angry about the dishes in the sink, towels on the floor, and shoes left in the middle of the floor. I get frustrated when things don't go my way. Sometimes I am very selfish and like Jonah my life and my religion become only about ME and GOD.

When I dig deep though I realize God gave me this heart that loves people of this world so much because there are people out there that come to Jesus through the love other people show them and the work of Christ in their life. I want to help in whatever way possible. I am concerned about this upcoming generation. I understand God is concerned about this generation of people and when I step back from the worldly aspects of my life I become not so concerned about me anymore. The sin of Jonah was the HIS religion was all about him. He gets to die and go to heaven. God please protect my family, please help my kids turn out right, please help my job etc. It is not simply surrendering to Gods personal and moral will of God but surrendering to Gods purpose in the world.

I have known for sometime now that I am called to ministry I just never knew what my calling was going to be. I will still become a pharmacist but I will do ministry where God places me. Today, as the sky started to rumble and turn many different shades of blue I realized where God wanted my heart.

My heart is with middle school and high school women fighting for their purity and relationship with the Lord. Many of you know my story but my story is a story of redemption. I want to feed into young women and this next generation because I fear for them.

As I finished my walk back home the sky let loose. It started pouring down rain and it was as though God was crying because I finally listened to my heart and what he was telling me.