Boy or Girl?

Let me start this blog off by saying we DON'T know the sex of Baby Urbizo just yet! Soon enough though! And we will announce it on September 11 after our gender reveal party! Below is a picture of the Cake Design I am using for our Gender Reveal Cake! We have two very sweet friends who are making this for us! yay!

I have been asked the question A LOT about whether we prefer a boy or a girl! So here are my feelings on all of this! I personally have no preference! All babies are from God and I know he will bless us with whatever he wants to! Scott on the other hand thinks it is a boy, wants a boy, talks to it like its a boy, and has dreams about it being a boy! So I think it is safe to say he is on TEAM BLUE! He also though would be happy either way! All we pray for is a healthy, happy baby!

For the past 5 weeks I have been working in the NICU on my acute care rotation! It has been so awesome and scary all at the same time. These babies are NOT your normal, healthy babies so I tend to freak myself out a lot. I have gotten to see C sections and vaginal births! I have to say neither one looks pleasant to me! This experience has been so awesome! They have seen me from my most vulnerable point (I was at 11 weeks when I started this rotation) to now at 16 weeks be able to actually be excited! I have learned so much! I now know how to feed a baby, burp a baby, change a diaper, and so much more! The best part about this rotation is the faith surrounding this place. The doctors and the nurses love God and trust him with each and every baby. It is such a wonderful place to be!

So at this point I have only told our names to close family & friends as well as all the NICU people! If we have a boy his name will be Hudson Randall Urbizo. Hudson because 1. It is the only boy name Scott & I agree on, 2. Scott likes that the meaning of the name means an adventurer and explorer and 3. Growing up I had a grandfather figure in my life named Dr. Hudson. Unfortunately, he passed away when I was about 13 and I couldn't think of a better way to honor him then name my son after him. Randall is my Dad's middle name and since I was his only child & I recently dropped his last name we figured we better carry him on in some way or another. Scott's dad was a little hurt by this...he thought it should be named Hudson Charles Urbizo after him. Sorry Chuckie! You have 6 of us Urbizo's to carry on your name and my daddy only has me! Now for our girl name...Copelyn Reese Urbizo. Ahh I just love it! Copelyn because my grandmother on my mom's side was named Copeland & my middle name is Copeland. I loved her so much but unfortunately she passed away when I was just five of breast cancer. She was such a beautiful woman and I hope I can be half the wife and mother she was throughout her life. She is the one who came up with our famous Chocolate Poundcake recipe that everyone loves so much. She also was quite the smocker & sewer. I have over 30 dresses that I wore as a little girl that she made and hopefully I will get to dress one of our little girls in them one day. Reese because Scott loves Reese Witherspoon! I am very confident in his love for me and he is a very loyal man but this is his one celebrity "crush". I am pretty sure if she showed up on our doorstep, I would be a goner! haha I had to let Scott have some say so in our girl name and that is what he came up with! Oh me....

So come September 11 we will know for sure what this sweet little one is that is growing inside of me! It amazes me everyday and brings me to tears that our wonderful God designed this sweet baby inside of me. There is a song that comes to mind about God creating each and every part of us in his own image to glorify him. This song reminds me in my fear that God made each of us to be intimate with Him. That he is not a God who stands far away from me as we live this hard life. God is love (1 John 4:16). We were created by Love and for love. We are meant to have intimacy with God as well as with each other. Now you are asking yourself...Well what is intimacy?

I found this awesome definition from another blog titled Holy Spirit Driven.
"Intimacy includes so much more than just the physical, it also includes emotions (heart), thoughts (mind) and the will (spirit)....Intimacy comes when we share all of ourselves with another. But, we must understand that at its core, intimacy is more than just a constant level of relating. Intimacy is the experience of sharing life together."

This is so comforting to know that our God created our baby with this in mind and every other baby in the world. We are created so intricately and we are his precious design! Now that is GREAT NEWS!

"Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29

This is my prayer for our baby that it always follows Jesus and comes to Jesus to carry its burdens on both the good days and the bad days because this life on earth is only temporary and a Life with Jesus is eternal.

So what do you think BOY OR GIRL!?

A Pregnant Chick Takes them Down!

Today after church my dad and Scott decided they wanted to go to the park on a run before my birthday dinner! (Tonight was the end to all my birthday fun!) We drove out to Harbins Park in Dacula, GA. For those of you that live in Georgia you should really try this park! It has an awesome 4.3 mile paved, shaded trail and probably 10 miles of hiking trails. So when we got there we decided we would walk for a little while which sounded great to me because my body doesn't really agree with the 95 degree weather. We got to about 3.5 miles and the boys decided they wanted to race me to the end. They were talking so much trash about how for once they could beat me in running! BIG MISTAKE! haha

Let me give you a little bit of background...I am not a competitive person AT ALL but when it comes to running that is something I don't mess around with PREGNANT OR NOT:) BUT I definitely slow it down a bit while Pregnant so don't worry! I have been a runner since the 6th grade and haven't stopped since! It is my absolutely favorite thing to do! Thankfully, I have a doctor who understands my craziness & my love for running so she gave me permission to do it until I couldn't do it anymore but I just have to take it slow!

Okay now back to my story...so Scott and my Dad thought they could sprint the whole mile but I knew all too well. See my Dad has a knee replacement and Scott doesn't even really like to run so I knew I could use that all to my advantage. So me and baby paced ourselves and about a half mile in I passed two boys who could barely talk or breathe on the trail! haha I knew I had them then! So I continued on my merry way and once I reached the finish I waited for them patiently!

Needless to say, I think their ego's were hurt a bit because they told me the only reason I won was because I have an extra pair of arms and legs in me. Considering baby and I ran about a 9 minute mile...I think baby slowed me down a bit! But we can just let them believe whatever they want! The bottom line is I took them both down!!! LOL

Here is a picture of me and my belly before we left for our jog! I am sorry once again for no make up and my house! I am 2 days shy of 16 weeks.

25 on the 25th!

Well, I guess this is my Golden Birthday. Scott informed me of this the other day and it got me thinking...Am I supposed to do something special!? I asked Scott this and knowing how gullible I am he told me that yeah I was supposed to go to the mall and break dance in front of a group of people. Good thing I googled it before I performed that performance. haha

It has been an absolutely wonderful day! So many people have called/texted & if I wasn't on my pharmacy rotation I would respond to everyone(so I apologize for ignoring you all! Nothing personal..I just started getting behind with it at Midnight last night!) But I really feel the love so thanks!

Scott always seems to make my birthdays EXTRA special. He is a very thoughtful man. He started yesterday by letting me go get an ultrasound! I have been having these awful cramps that keep me up at night & having had a loss I just couldn't come to ease that I wasn't sleeping from the pain. So yesterday we went to get an ultrasound from this sweet lady who actually works at a doctor's office and has her own 3D/4D place. She was so good to us and since she had a loss too she understood completely how I was feeling. Best birthday present ever!

I got up this morning at 4:30am to meet a friend at the gym to exercise! It was a wonderful way to start the day. Then when I got home at 6am I was served breakfast in bed. I have quite the chef for a husband...SEE! Then he wrote me a very sweet card. He loves to write (like me!) so his card was so beautiful.

Then we met for a late lunch at Jersey Mike's. I have been CRAVING a turkey sandwich and unfortunately you are not supposed to have deli meat unless it is heated to 165 degrees. (STUPID! if you ask me!) So we went on over to Jersey Mike's and they were nice enough to heat the meat for so I could enjoy a yummy turkey sandwich for my birthday!

I got home and my brother-in-law Mike surprised me with painting our down stairs room for me! He is the best! And boy was I surprised! I loved it!

Then when Scott got home he arrived with a cookie cake!! And I have already eaten 3 pieces! Don't worry I am eating for two haha!

For my birthday present my family, Scott's whole family, and Scott all pitched in to get me a nice camera/video recorder! I have absolutely no idea how to use it but I love it! I asked for it simply so my creative hubby could take pictures of our family & videos. Maybe one day I will become more technologically oriented.

And one last thing, my sweet mom sent me money to get Fall decorations for our house! Here is my mantle but it is still in the works!

Last but not least here is a true belly picture at 15 weeks! The other one I took in my last blog I was technically 13 weeks!(Sorry!) I promise for some of these pictures I will actually do my hair and put on my face!

And there is Ms. Molly! She wanted to say hi!

Now that I have woken up from a two hour nap we are off for Barbeque!

Big News!!

Rather than tell you the whole story and then tell you our news, I will start with our Big News! Scott and I are expecting a baby, AGAIN! We are 15 weeks pregnant and feel completely humbled, and grateful for the blessing God has placed in our lives.

Let me start from the beginning. June 7, 2011 was the day it all went down. I started blogging on this day and I tried to write once a month to be able to update you all once I shared the news:

July 7, 2011
(This was the day we found out we were pregnant with our RAINBOW baby! For those of you who do not know A RAINBOW baby is the baby after a miscarriage or a loss. It was a normal day. I went to my rotation from 9-5, then ran to LabCorp for a drug test for my next rotation, then I had to go get a full physical and a TB shot at this immediate medical clinic down the road since my doctor’s office could not fit me in for another month! As I was signing the paperwork, it asked me if I was pregnant. I naturally circled NO because that had been the answer the past few months. But then my gut told me to just tell them I wasn’t sure because technically I was a day late for my period. The sweet nurses and doctor decided to do a blood test on me. 20 minutes later they ALL came in the room with a plastic bag that had a huge smiley face on it and the date June 7. They told me I was pregnant! Best news ever! I then took out the test. It did not look positive to me at all. I could barely and I mean barely see two lines. I felt like it was an awful trick! I told the nurses I didn’t believe it and they swore to me it was positive. I sat there shaking for a few minutes. Then asked them to do another test. They were so sweet to me! They did it again without any hesitation! Sure enough it came back same result…looking positive to them…BUT negative to me. I decided to go home at this point (it was now 9:30pm) and just continue to take tests until I could actually believe it myself. I got in my car and immediately called Scott. He was so excited but naturally we both said we would be cautiously hopeful until we get past this first trimester! I am writing this blog entry on June 19. Since June 19 I have taken a total of 15 pregnancy tests! Crazy…right!? Well now I have a very bright pink line! It makes me so hopeful! I have a lot of anxiety now that I did not experience last time we were pregnant. It is hard to enjoy it right now because I have so much fear of losing our sweet baby. I just pray 24/7 for God to protect this baby if it is his will. I find myself placing my hand on my belly and just praying throughout the day everyday. My prayer is Lord please wrap your hands around my babies heart and make it beat strong.) Below is a picture of the bag they made for me at the doctor's office and all 15 tests I took.

Then on July 18 I wrote this:

July 18

(I promised myself I would keep up with writing “secretly” so when I post all of these posts on labor day weekend all my lovely blog readers could see into my first trimester. Well…I have failed pretty badly! Life is so incredibly busy! Between rotations, going to bed at 8:30pm every night, and traveling to see friends I haven’t found the time. I also hesitate to write anything remotely exciting for my fear of losing another baby. Even though I know that fear comes from Satan some days it grabs my heart harder than other days. I have found though when the fear shows up the more I pull out my Bible and just read a loud the quicker it subsides. June 29 we had a doctors appointment…not one that was scheduled…one that was spur of the moment due to cramps. At this point I was only 6 weeks but according to google I should be able to hear a heartbeat. Unfortunately, when we got to the ultrasound there was just a gestational sac and yolk sac…no baby! What a hit in the stomach this was. I was measuring a week behind! They could not tell me if I was sure going to miscarry again or if it would be a healthy baby. So then we took the next step and had blood work drawn three different days. Thankfully, my numbers went from 6800 to 14600 to 46000!!! I have become quite knowledgeable on HCG levels. So based on those numbers the doctors I guess concluded something was growing strongly inside of me. So then we waited….ugh! Waiting is the hardest part but oh boy does it make you lean on God hard and strong! We waited until July 8 when we had our 8 week appointment. I woke up on July 8 and I cried all morning! I was so scared. As Scott and I waited in the doctors office which seemed like an eternity I read my Bible and did not stop until they called my name. I layed on the ultrasound table and closed my eyes tight. One of our sweet nurses came in to hold my hand and I just sat there in constant prayer and did not open my eyes until I heard the good news! Sure enough our little peanut was there on the screen with a strong heart beating away and wiggling around like no tomorrow! Such a relief for my heart! Peanuts heartbeat was beautiful! That is all I watched and I cried as I saw it beat up and down. I love this baby so much already!) Below is a picture of our baby at 8 weeks exactly.

August 9

(Today we had our NT scan. Yes, I know most people opt out of this scan but for us it meant one more ultrasound and that in of itself was totally worth it. We are 13 weeks to the day and the sweet, perfect baby was measuring right on track! It was being a little stubborn and not cooperating so we only really got a back shot. But good news...Baby is healthy!! I can't even describe to you the feeling my heart feels. I find myself on my knees a lot in prayer. Praying for the health of our baby, praying for peace in my heart, and most of all praying that I can become strong in knowing that God is fully in control and I have absolutely NO control. God has really showered blessing over our life even when we were in the strongest storm of our life. He is such a good God.)

Ultrasound at 10 weeks!

Ultrasound at 13 weeks!!

So there is our past three months in a quick nutshell! I can't even describe to you the up and down emotions I have felt these past few months and I still struggle with this daily. I am forever grateful that God gave me a second chance to be a mother on this earth and I am in awe that he adopted our very first child into his beautiful kingdom. If that baby couldn't be here with me then there is no better place for it to be then with Jesus. I know he is taking good care of that baby. Thank you all for praying for us and we ask that you continue to keep those prayers coming. They are greatly appreciated.

Here is a picture of my belly at 15 weeks!

Oh August 18...I am glad you are passing!

I have dreaded this day for a while now. This is the day our baby we lost in February was due. I don't really have any words today because I am so drained. But I am joyful in the fact that I don't have to prepare or think about getting to this day anymore! I am not going to lie...it hurts my heart today but I am excited in the fact that God is in control and he knows the plan for my life. I am so glad I have no control!

In my weakness I turned to the book of Job today.

"He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted." -Job 9:10

We won't ever know what God is up to behind the scenes of our current struggle but I promise you he always has a sovereign plan. Just reciting this verse over and over again today made me smile so big to know that the creator of my being, the man who loved me so much that he sent his son to die for my sins, still loves me to this day and will love me every day of my life. He will continue to perform wonderful miracles and blessings in my life. And even on the days I doubt him and his ability he reminds me he has this whole world in his hands including my little world & in his timing he will give to me the desires of my heart.

You Are My Passion

Oh man did I need this song today! I have been living in this negative, fearful mindset lately...so much so it started really digging into my heart and soul. I have so incredibly much to be thankful for yet I take all the good in my life and find some sort of negative to destroy all of it. It all started on Friday when I went to take a shower and saw mold growing in our shower. If you know me at all, you know I am extreme clean freak! Almost OCD! Well, I pretty much called Scott and told him there was no way I could live in a house where mold was growing. He kind of just laughed at me and said he would fix it when he got home. Then I started going around our beautiful house picking out everything I did not like about it. Pretty ungrateful huh!? Oh don't worry God convicted me shortly after. Then I got to thinking why are we as humans always looking for the next best thing or always having to have the best of the best? Why can't we be satisfied with the right now that God has provided? Especially in our generation we want the nicest cars, the biggest houses, the best furniture, etc. etc. And then I get stuck with the question: Is that really how God would want us to live? I don't believe God wants our focus on material things at all. He wants us to always be living for his will and always be glorifying him. He knows better than anyone that we fall short to follow him when we are soaked in the material things of the world. What would our world look like if we took the money God provides us and used it for something to glorify him rather than a new outfit, a fancy dinner, or an exotic vacation!? You get my drift... So in the midst of all the negative thoughts I opened my Bible to the Old Testament to read about God continuing to provide for the Israelites even when they were questioning in him. God provided just the right amount of food they needed to sustain. God never failed them.

This song reminds me of this. God will always provide. God will never fail us. As long as we are living to know him more and live for his will. Don't get so wrapped up in the material things of the world because in eternity none of this will matter. There is nothing on this earth more valuable or more beautiful the the treasures in heaven.

My strength in life is I am yours,
My soul delights because I am yours,
You will on earth is all I am living for!
Jesus I glorify, Jesus my love is yours
You are my hearts desire. I live to know you more.