Living life with our Sweet Copelyn- 1st two weeks

We love our life with our sweet girl! It is so much more than I ever could have imagined & I absolutely love being Copelyn's mommy. Don't get me wrong though there are some days that I just have to cry. It can get stressful at times especially when your little one is crying and you can't fix it. Scott and I really haven't had any extra help since we have been home. It has just been Scott, Copelyn, and me trying to figure out how to do life together. I think we have been pretty darn successful! With that said my mom comes this Wednesday and I can't wait to have her here! It will give me a little break here and there & I get to spend time with my sister & my mommy! Even though I am 25 it is amazing how sometimes we just need our own mommy's! Copelyn is so sweet. She loves sleeping on my chest and cuddling me. Even though I know this is a bad habit I don't really care right now haha! I am going to enjoy this time with her! She has been breastfeeding like a champ! We haven't really had one issue...praise Jesus! I thought for sure we would considering how Divaish Copelyn acted during labor! Poor baby has developed a little gas the past two days and she wails a loud cry! I hate it...I wish we could fix it. We just purchased Mylicon drops so we are hoping this helps. Today we got Copelyn's newborn pictures done! I stood back in awe practically the whole time at my little girl. We feel so blessed that God gave her to us. This morning we watched church online and afterwards I told Copelyn...."Mommy loves you...Daddy loves you...and Most importantly Jesus loves you!" We got the biggest smile from her after I said this! Just makes my heart melt!

Baby Copelyn's Birth Part 2

So in my tiredness of writing Copelyn's birth story yesterday I forgot a few very important people.

1. Scott was amazing the whole entire day! He was so supportive the whole entire time. He watched each contraction and let me know when they were going to end. He even didn't want to eat because I couldn't eat. Haha BUT I made him because I didn't want him to get queasy. He surprised us all when the nurse told him to grab a leg and he coached me through each push! I couldn't have asked anything more of him.

2. My mother in law was there almost the entire time. She was like my personal midwife! I could not have done it without her and I love how she responds in stressful situations. She makes everyone around her calm and when it came down to me pushing & me saying I couldn't do it she reminded me I had no choice & that I could do it! It was so nice to have her there and share in the experience with us.

3. My sister in law Nikki! She decided last minute that she wanted to watch Copelyn be born. I was a little worried because I didn't want to scare her out of child birth. BUT she did awesome. She even took all the pictures of the whole entire birth so Scott didn't have to worry about it.

4. My mom who got to watch the whole thing via Facetime from our computer that we set up in the room. I was so thankful to be able to have her there even if she couldn't be there in person. It was so special to me because she is my very best friend & I couldn't imagine her missing the birth of our little girl. She was so encouraging the whole time and just let me enjoy the experience. I love her so much. I hope Copelyn and I have a close relationship like we share.

5. The whole rest of our family. They were all amazing and so supportive. We always feel loved by them but they showed us a tremendous amount of supprt & encouragement.

Ok I think I covered everyone now:) We love our little girl so much! We had her pediatrician appointment today and she has gained 1 ounce! She eats like crazy, poops like a maniac, and well um sleep we are working on. We got 6.5 hours of sleep last night which was awesome but little girl wants to sleep on her mommy and daddy's chest at all times. We got a new upright cradle per the recommendation of a mommy I really look up to. We are going to give that a shot tonight because she did not like her bassinet. I love being Copelyn's mommy! It is the best job in the world!

Baby Copelyn's Birth Story

Let me start by saying we are absolutely totally in love with our little blessing God has given us. She is beautiful and so sweet! But this little sweet bundle of joy sure did give us a run for our money on Tuesday. She proved numerous times she was going to run the show no matter what intervention we may take! Let me also say before I tell the whole story that we appreciate all the love & support so many of you have shown us over these past few days. We feel so incredibly grateful for all the prayers as well.

So where to even begin!? Our day began Tuesday at 3:30 am as I woke up and got ready for our scheduled C section. I decided I would put my face on and do my hair to meet my little girl! I got all ready & everything!! We got to the hospital around 5:30am and got prepped for our C section. After listening for Copelyn's heart beat the nurses felt like she may have moved but we had to confirm it with an ultrasound once our doctor got there. So we waited for about an hour & sure enough when the doctor scanned us our sweet girl had turned head down! We were all in shock! Crazy little girl! So at this point we turned to the induction plan. Our doctor knew I would like to go natural so she tried at first a more natural way of induction. When we went to check if it had worked after about 4 hours...Copelyn had turned AGAIN! ugh! The doctor tried to turn her a bit manually and it worked but it proved to be one of the scariest times for me during labor because Copelyn started decelling. So at this point we knew we needed to get her engaged if she was going to come vaginally. It was decided here to start me on a strong dose of pitocin! I knew I hated this drug but not until it was running through my veins did I realize how evil it really can be! BUT it got the job done. Copelyn got engaged and within no time I was about 4 cm. They then broke my water which got me to about 6 cm. At about 6.5 cm I decided to get an epidural because we realized it was probably going to be a long night and she wouldn't come until the wee hours of the morning. (She proved us all wrong here too) So I got the epidural and felt relief very soon. Within two hours though I started feeling everything again even though I kept pushing the button to push more into my system! That is my luck...right!? At this point I was crying...I felt like such a wimp. The contractions were so long and strong I felt like I may just die! The anesthesiologist decided to rebolus me with a stronger dose! This felt so good at first. I couldn't even feel my legs it was so strong. Within about 1.5 hours I started feeling the contractions...AGAIN! What the heck!? The nurse rechecked me and much to our surprise we were at 9.5 cm and almost ready to push. I got really scared because I honestly did not think I could handle the pain to push her out. I pushed on the PCA pump three times to try to get more drug in my system but it just wasn't doing much of anything for me. I then felt the urge to push and could not stop. At this point our sweet doctor was delivering another baby. It didn't matter to me though because I just wanted this baby out of me! haha So we started pushing a bit. I remember the nurse telling me I was probably going to be pushing for two hours. I thought to myself...Oh no I am not! Our doctor came in the room just in time & within 25 minutes I had her out. Even though it was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life, it was so worth it. I think because I had some feeling I was able to push her out more effectively.

My doctor was absolutely AMAZING the whole entire day! We laughed together and she lightened the mood for us even when things got stressful. She was a voice for me even when I had trouble saying NO to people and made sure the experience was what I wanted. She did everything she could to give me as natural of a birth as possible. She even knew during pushing what I needed. She knows I have that "runner" mind and needed someone to count or do something to help me get through the pushes. I remember thinking in my mind...Someone help me! And sure enough she started counting to 10 for me for each push and because of that I could make it through. All my nurses were so wonderful! I can't say enough good things about all of them. The whole experience was just so surreal and we are so thankful for everyone that played a part into bringing our sweet girl into the world!

We love Copelyn so much and can't wait to watch her and help her grow!

When Life Hands You Lemons....Stubborn Baby Copelyn Update

Make Lemonade!!

Well, after our last appointment before our induction we have realized Copelyn has flipped since Friday. She is now breech!! Head is up towards my ribcage with her feet there too. I think I am still in shock and in disbelief that now my birth plan has really gone down the drain. When we went in and our doctor started feeling around something did not seem right to her. So we listened to the heart beat which sounded beautiful but it had shifted up towards my left upper side. We then confirmed it with an ultrasound and sure enough sweet little Copelyn was as snug as a rug BUT breech! Ugh...this is what I felt. Then seeing the look of disappointment on my husbands face made me feel even worse. We were presented with two options or technically three. 1. Maybe (just maybe) she will turn right by tomorrow...(Highly unlikely but worth praying for), 2. They could attempt turning her tomorrow in the AM which has a 50% chance of success BUT if it fails and Copelyn's heartbeat drops I will be rushed to a STAT C-section, Scott won't be able to come most likely, and I could potentially be put to sleep because they have to get her out in a minute, OR 3. We just opt for the C-section.

We chose option 1 & 3. We will try to naturally turn her tonight and if that doesn't work we will be headed for a C-section tomorrow at 7:30am. Not how I had planned it at all. But on the bright side I get to hold and kiss my sweet baby tomorrow no matter what. It is so funny to me the way life can go sometimes. It never goes as planned. I wanted an all natural birth, no medicine...nothing! But for whatever reason God had a different plan and he knows best.

As I was driving home I remembered this time last year. I was mourning the loss of our baby we miscarried. I thought I may never get pregnant again. And here I am a day away from holding my daughter. It doesn't matter how she comes into this world. What matters is she has two parents that adore her and a heavenly Father that loves her so much. That is enough to celebrate right there!

I ask that you pray for us tomorrow. However the turn out please just pray for a safe delivery and a happy, healthy baby. Please pray for my husband who gets a little queasy. Please pray for my doctor as she performs surgery on me. I truly feel like one lucky girl. I have a wonderful husband, the best doctor in the world who I can now call my friend, and a healthy, baby girl I get to meet tomorrow!

Its been ONE YEAR

Quite honestly I have dreaded this day for a while now. I know it is just another day but something about the "one year anniversary" that we miscarried our first baby was not a day I wanted to really relive. Oddly enough last night as expected I did not sleep hardly at all. I got up every hour on the hour and finally gave in & just read my Bible until I felt enough peace in my heart to go asleep again. Even though I have dreaded this day, I am so thankful for the obstacles & struggles God has brought us through this past year. It has been a life-changing year. I am a changed woman with a completely renewed heart. I find myself shedding tears almost weekly with the way God has used our story for his glory. Just in the two weeks, I met for lunch with two different women who had miscarried recently. If I would have not gone through our circumstances I would not have been able to help, understand, or love on all the women God has thrown in my path.

My expectations of people have completely changed. I used to be an easily disappointed girl in a lot of my friendships when people didn't meet my expectations. Now I have no expectations of people. I look at every relationship as a gift from God and I try to see the best in that person always. My marriage has completely changed. Before I used to get upset if Scott didn't clean the bathroom up perfectly after shaving, or if he did something that made me mad it used to turn into a fight...Now we hardly ever argue and we just show each other as much love as we can daily. We have a completely different outlook on life now & we don't take a day for granted. Life is so precious & the days are much better spent laughing & smiling as well as taking every situation and seeing it all as God's plan & that he will bring you through.

No... this past year hasn't been easy. There were days I didn't think I could possibly take anymore pain in my heart. But the truth is I made it. Honestly though, it was only because my Lord & Savior pulled me through. It wasn't my husband, or my friendships (yes they helped) BUT it was me surrendering my circumstances fully to Him & letting Him have complete control of the situation. My advice for people going through a similar situation is don't dwell on what could have been rather dwell on what God is going to do through your situation & your life.

We received the biggest blessing of all four months after we miscarried; that is our sweet Baby Copelyn. She is healthy, active, and VERY STUBBORN! Honestly though, it wasn't until I surrendered my circumstances to God that he let my heart smile again & that he blessed us with Copelyn.

My prayer is that whatever life struggle you are going through now that you can lean on God and let him work in you!

Now for a Copelyn update!! She is stubborn as EVER! Yesterday we had my membranes stripped again. I am about 2-2.5 cm dilated, effaced, but my cervix is still posterior. We need EVERYONE praying that this little girl decides to come out before Tuesday! If I am induced on Tuesday my whole birth plan looks like it might go down the drain. I know I could wait for her to just come on her own but unfortunately time is precious for us since I have to go back to my rotation March 19. Establishing a routine with Copelyn is much more important to me than my birth plan at this point. BUT I would love to have my dream birth! We go again on Monday for one more check if little girl doesn't come before then! Thank you so much for all your prayers! Come on Copelyn...Your Mommy and Daddy want to meet you! We will keep you updated:)