Let's Get Honest

All day today I prayed about what I could write on my blog and the words God kept telling me were Honesty and Expectations. Two completely different topics but two very important lessons God has taught me over the years.

When God put honesty on my heart tonight I took it to a different meaning and different level for my specific situation. So here we go.....I am about to get a little vulnerable so please don't judge me:)

I had this really sweet girl from school today come up to me and apologize because she was cussing a lot when she was sitting behind me the other day. At first I kind of took it as a compliment and was flattered that she thoughtso much of me but then when I got in my car I just kind of laughed. If only she knew how often I sin and how often I fall short just like every other human in this world. Just because I have Jesus in my life doesn't mean I have everything together....Actually I don't really have it together at all.

Let me give you a few examples:
1. On saturday I left my hair dryer on the floor in the bathroom. As I walked in there I stepped on the prongs on my hair dryer and they proceeded to go through my foot. It hurt so bad. And even though I don't normally cuss something came over me and I screamed a few bad words. (Not too bad but bad enough that I had to pray for forgiveness)
2. Just a few weeks ago we were blessed with something way unexpected and only something that God could do. I found myself feeling greedy and wanting to figure out a way to get more out of the situation. I would pull out my Bible and try to get the greedy feelings out of my heart but it was inevitable. So God put it on my heart to give a lot of our blessing away. As soon as I started listening to God I felt no more greed
3. Miscarriages suck! They are emotionally and physically draining... Most hours of the day I trust God fully but there are some hours where I completely fail miserablely. The questions like Does God really have this? Is he really listening to the desires of my heart? Because if he is I should already be pregnant! One of the most important lesson someone can learn as a christian is to be patient for God's will. He ultimately does provide.
4. My expectations of other people sometimes are just too high. God has to remind me he is enough for me. After the miscarriage we were flooded with emails and calls but as we got further away from it my friends started to not call as much. What they did not realize because they could not read my mind was that I still needed them. I am generally that person there for everyone offering advice and just this one time I needed people to lean on. Why wasn't God providing them!? But thankfully God made me realize that my expecatations were way to high and that he should be enough for me. He loves me and that is all that matters. I love our God!

So my lesson that God has taught me is be honest with yourself and lower your expectations. No human on this earth is perfect and every person sins. That is why Jesus died on the cross for us so unselfishly. My point was even though I have Jesus in my life I still fall short and need to ask for forgiveness. One thing that never changes though is my abundant love for God and his unselfishly, unconditonal love for me.