Copelyn and I are doing just great! She started kicking me last night. It made me so excited! She did it once a few times so then I laid on my back to see if I could get her to do again. Come to find out little Copelyn doesn't like to do things that she doesn't want to do. Hmmmm....maybe she has her daddy in her a bit!? It was the best feeling ever! Then this morning she did it again. I get up at 4:45am every day to go exercise. (which she may pay me back for once she is here) I was listening to my worship music loud this morning and all of a sudden she started moving again! Ahh I just love it!
I have started to get into nesting mode. I have decided I will clean out every closet in this house! We have gotten all of Copelyn's furniture and most of her basic bedding which I am so excited about. We are going to start painting the walls tomorrow! We decided on light pink walls much to my discretion. But sweet daddy just had to have PINK, PINK, and more PINK in his baby girls nursery. I couldn't fight him much on that. Here is a picture of her bedding:
I have decided to monogram pretty much everything of Copelyn's! I don't think she will ever have trouble remembering her name or her initials for that matter. I guess that is the southern girl in me.
On another note, I wanted to speak on fear and God. On our hike Saturday I was reminded of a conversation I had not too long ago with a very wise Godly woman in my life. I had called her and asked her if she thought everything would be okay with the baby. I was so fearful of something happening again that I needed SOMEONE to just tell me YES. The reality is I was ignoring God with this issue. I didn't really want to ask him if everything was going to be okay. Don't get me wrong I prayed for our baby every single day and asked for him to protect my child and make the heart beat strong. I guess you could say I was embarrassed to go to him and just say, "Look...I am fearful...I am weak...and I truly am doubting if everything will be okay. Will you please just calm my heart and calm my fears?" I thankfully have someone in my life who loves me enough to not just tell me YES. Instead, she told me that she was NOT God so of course she could not guarantee me or anyone for that matter that everything in life will be okay. The one thing she could guarantee was that fear DOES NOT come from God. It comes from Satan.
I learned that day that I couldn't let fear control me. If I did not pray it out of me I was going to teach my child fear when she was born. I did not want my child to fear. For me, this all started with the miscarriage. So then now that I was pregnant again I feared something could happen in the pregnancy. Then if this continued I would fear once the baby got here that something would happen. You get it...it would be this awful cycle. I would end up having fear for my child for the rest of her life.
Even though I have not perfected this I have chosen to give this issue to God. I am so thankful he loves me and knows I am not perfect. He will shape me daily and I know eventually I will break free of this fear. Praise Jesus!
Here is my belly at 19 weeks:)
Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd;I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings.
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.
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