2 weeks....

Today was two weeks since we miscarried our sweet little baby. Even though it was a hard day, I am getting such a peace in my heart. I got home around 1:00 and just crawled in my bed with my Bible. I knew I had two choices 1)to lay there and be depressed or 2)get on my knees and pray for some sort of peace. As I closed my eyes, I was reminded of May 15, 2010, the day I married my sweetheart. It had been a while since I had watched our whole wedding video so I decided to get the DVD out, put on my favorite PINK sweatpants that Scott hates and put the DVD in the DVD player and watch one of the best days of our lives all over again. When I was a little girl I dreamed of my wedding day. I remember playing dress up with my friend Brigitte. This was a daily thing for us. We would dress up as princesses and get out all of our barbies to prepare a huge wedding for barbie and ken. On May 15 when I slipped on that wedding dress for just one minute I felt the little girl come out of me again. For one minute I was able to have that child like faith where nothing in the room would get to me. And for just one day Scott and I were the only things that mattered and I got to be a princess again. The one thing I love most about this day was our vows. We had always said since the moment that we started talking about getting married that we would want to write our true feelings to eachother in our vows. Rewatching it today reminded me of how unselfishly Scott loves me and how lucky I am to have someone who puts my needs before his own. I have never been perfect and I have made lots of mistakes BUT the one thing that I can say I did perfectly in my life was say YES to the man God had been preparing for me all along. Well, today when I needed him most Scott came through the door and crawled in the bed with me. By this time the wedding video was over but for four hours we just laid in bed talking and laughing & most importantly all of my troubles & worries were gone. Tonight I have decided I can't just sit here and feel bad anymore. I have got to keep going because God has an awesome plan for Scott and I. And the most awesome part is his plan is a mystery to me and there is nothing I can do to figure it out. I know God wants me to be a mommy someday. If I could have it my way I would get pregnant tomorrow but I know in time God will provide & the more I wait on him the more I will trust him. And the more I trust him the better my life will be. Below is the link to our wedding video highlights. I hope you enjoy watching them as much as I enjoy them!

http://apolloproductionsvideo.com/LaurenAndScott/