While I'm Waiting

Over the past few days my phone and email have been flooded with encouragement and loving words. We have received more cards in the mail then I think I have ever received for any occasion in my life. Normally, people just sign them with there name but for this particular time everyone is writing us wonderful notes and some even letters. Yes, our world has been completely shaken. The best part is though that even though life is hard right now everything around us is being glorified in Jesus's name.

As I rolled out of bed this morning I peeked out the window to see the grass covered in snow. The roads were fine though, still drivable which I love. I went outside and just stood in the snow for a few minutes. It was still dark but as I closed my eyes and breathed in the air God has given me; God reminded me just as the snow is white and pure so is his love for me.

Then later on in the day the sun came out and the clouds were white and fluffy. It was so refreshing to have the heat beam down on my face. The picture below is what today reminded me of. My friend Mary Anne Morgan took this picture the day after our miscarriage and wrote about us on her blog. It displays that even in darkness God can still shine the light.

Ahh, that picture is so refreshing for me. For me the light in that picture is God and my husband. God has been working on my heart ever since last Friday. Mending me, rebreaking me, loving me etc. He has brought me comfort in every up and down emotion I have felt. My husband on the other hand has answered every question I have with love and compassion never once getting frustrated with me. Scott and I are so in love now more than ever. We have always loved each other so much but it is amazing how adversity brings you even closer together. He never left my side at the hospital except for when I went to surgery. The night we spent the night he sat next to my bed holding my hand all night long not sleeping once.

Tomorrow is one week since the miscarriage. It has gone by so fast yet so slow. I can't wait to see God's plan for our life and all he has in store for me.

Right now my fear is that I won't be able to get pregnant again. I know that fear comes from Satan and it is not from God. I know God knows the desires of my heart and will one day bless me. It is so easy to get caught up in the right here right now mindset. Waiting is the hardest part. For now we will pray, love on everyone around us, and wait for when God decides to give us a precious baby again.

I know that Baby Urbizo #1 (we decided not to give it a name) is in heaven watching down on us. It is kind of comforting knowing that a baby given to us from God is an angel looking down on our lives. In light of the situation Scott and I were talking about what our baby was doing in heaven. Scott seems to think the baby is running the coconut shrimp shop because that is all I wanted for the 3 months I was pregnant. If that is the case, I want some coconut shrimp when I get to heaven!

There is a song that I am displaying above called "While I'm Waiting" I think it is a great way to display how we feel right now.