Merry Christmas! (32/33 weeks)

I have really slacked on posting the past two weeks. Mainly because some of my favorite people were in town for 10 days and I couldn't get enough of them to take a break to write something! My mom, my sister, and my step-dad came to visit and we had such a good time! Scott even got off the whole week with us & he cooked a full breakfast for us every morning! Christmas is always special but this year it took on a whole new meaning for us. We didn't get caught up in the gift giving at all and just spent quality time with each other. It was so incredibly nice. I always cry the day they leave. It is just something we have grown to accept and it takes me a good week to recover from them leaving.

It is especially hard to leave my mom. She is my best friend and never in a million years did I think I would live 500 miles away from her. I have always appreciated her but each year I feel like I grow to appreciate her & love her more even though I always think I can't love her any more because I already love her so much! She is the most selfless person I know. I hope I can be half the mom to Copelyn that she has been to me. While she was here she washed every one of Copelyn's outfits for me, washed my clothes (which no matter what I can't ever do it like her), and cooked us our favorite foods. She always makes sure my sister and I are taken care of before herself. I love our relationship and how close we have always been. My favorite thing to do is lay in the bed with her & my sister and laugh! She loves to laugh and she can make any bad situation...good. I am so thankful God gave me her as my mom!

Copelyn and I are doing well! We got to see her this past week and she is so cute! She looks a lot like her daddy even though I don't want to admit it since I am the one who has been carrying her for 9 months!! She has the cutest cheeks and I can't wait to kiss them! We still have been exercising daily but sweet girl has made it kind of difficult. She still pushes as hard as she can against me and I have tried to tell her that she is pushing on my organs & it hurts!!...But she doesn't listen! I fall asleep at about 9pm every night due to the fact she gets me up now at least 5 times a night to pee! I guess she is breaking me in for motherhood which is just fine because then I will be used to it by the time she gets here in 6 weeks. My dilated vein gets bigger and bigger by the day it seems. I have found the longer I stand still without walking makes it worse but as long as I am moving it doesn't bother me. I think she has a thing for my right side because that is where she puts all her pressure. At our ultrasound this past week it looks as though she has turned breech again. ugh! So prayers would be appreciated that she turns head down before she decides to make her arrival. I think she probably just doesn't want to be upside down for that long so she is waiting to turn back around. I don't think I would like to hang upside down for 6 weeks either!

Copelyn was spoiled rotten for Christmas!! She got so many cute new outfits! (even though her closet is already full...I have tried to tell her Daddy that a girl never has enough clothes)! She also got two pairs of pink Toms which I just am in love with.

Well, that's about it for these past two weeks! We just can't wait for our little one to get here!

31 weeks!! (posting a little late)

Every time I have sat down to write this week I have literally started and fallen asleep. We had a pretty eventful week in our household....well as eventful as it gets in a pregnant lady's house. We have finished all of our Christmas shopping and all the presents are wrapped under the tree! I have tried my hardest to keep up with life but I am definitely feeling the tiredness now! My family is coming into town for 10 days starting Saturday and I had to start cleaning my house on Wednesday just to make sure I could get it all done by Saturday! haha

We had a doctor's appointment again yesterday! Copelyn's little heartbeat sounded so strong and wonderful! I get chills every time I hear it because it is the most beautiful sound in the world. Much to my surprise she has turned and sweet little girl is head down! Hooray! Like I have said before my doctor is amazing and even after she had a very long day she sat with me for 30 minutes to answer all my questions. So here is our plan! I refuse to write it down on paper or actually give it to anyone because I have heard the minute you do that it will all go NOT as planned. And in all honesty God knows how it is going to go down already, I can just dream about the birth of my little girl & imagine. My doctor said we will not be using any CYTOTEC! Yay! Then we talked about while I am in labor. I get to stay at home until my contractions are 2-5 minutes a part as long as my water doesn't break. If my water breaks well we will be headed to the hospital. Once I am at the hospital I get to walk around, get in the tub, and sit on the birthing ball if I would like. I am just keeping those options open. Once Copelyn is born, she will stay attached to the umbilical cord for 1-2 minutes & immediately placed in my arms! This plan is drug-free...no epidural...or anything else for that matter. Of course, I know sometimes things don't go as planned. In a perfect world what I wrote above is what I would like to happen BUT I am prepared for anything that might come our way. All the matters to me is we get our little girl here safely and that she is healthy!

I haven't complained once during pregnancy but I tell you what this week has gotten the best of me. Come to find out my hernia was misdiagnosed!! Such an answer to prayer because we were already stressed about when & how I would get it fixed. I ended up having what is known as a dilated vein. My doctor said she has seen them a lot recently & at first glance they seem like a hernia but they are not. I just have to watch for clotting and if it gets swollen. I have learned that she must be pressing down hard on my right side. This was evident last night when I woke up with the worst pain in my right leg. I stayed awake for 2 hours trying to shake the stiffness out of it. I would describe it as restless leg but whatever it was did not feel so good! Scott even said I tried to kick him a few times...haha...obviously that did not work!

Copelyn is quite the active little girl. She DEFINITELY has her daddy's personality haha. She is quiet and peaceful all day and then at night she is fired up and ready to go. One thing is for sure...she doesn't like exercising. Every time I am walking or on the elliptical she pushes as hard as she can on my stomach until I stop. It is almost like she is throwing a fit while I try to exercise. (Her daddy doesn't like to exercise much either haha)

All in all, we are thankful and blessed that our little girl is healthy! We can not wait to meet her in February and kiss her face.

So Many Things on My Heart Tonight...

After a full day off from work I had a lot of time to reflect by myself. I spent most of my time finishing up Copelyn's room. When I finally got finished I stood back in awe of the room we had created for our little girl. I went back to a barely started baby room that we had began working on this time last year. My goodness what a year this has been. I try my best to put what my heart feels in words but sometimes it is so hard. This time last year I was taking a pregnancy test unexpectedly only to confirm we were pregnant! I remember that day like it was yesterday. I also remember February 4, 2011 like it was yesterday...that became to be known as one of the hardest days of my life. The day we lost our first baby. Scott and I have spent so much time in the once empty baby room this past year. We spent a lot of time on our knees praying. We prayed to be able to get pregnant again, we prayed for God's timing, and now we can pray for our little girl that God has so graciously given to us. Scripture verses have been recited over that sweet little girls room. Now as I sit in her room and look around...I am at peace. This room is filled with so much love and prayer for our little girl.

Below is a family that was on my heart big time today & I felt led to share with you their story real quick:

Rebekah McGee and her husband Will. Rebekah and I went to school together at Auburn. She is such a sweet, Godly girl! After a 18 month wait on their child they got word last week that they will be parents to a beautiful boy from Ethiopia. They have an amazing story and I can not even begin to do it justice. You can find their blog below. I felt led to share it because it is a very expensive process to get their son home. If you feel led to help here are some ways she specifically says on their website:

Pray
- Pray for our son, Israel, who is being cared for by the special mothers at Hannah's Hope.
- Pray for the birth family, for God to give them grace and peace during their most difficult sacrifice.
-Pray for the special mothers who care for our son, so that they will have renewed joy each day as they do their jobs and give care to children.
-Pray for the court & embassy process ahead, that God would be glorified and that we would be able to move forward quickly to bring our son home.
- Pray that we would remain patient throughout this entire process.
- Pray that the Lord will shape us in our preparation to be great parents.
- Pray that this adoption will be a clear picture of the Gospel to those around us.

Spread the Word
Tell people about our blog. Get them in contact with us. We would not be considering adoption if it were not for our friends who have shown us how adoption is a picture of what God has done for us. We hope that others will be stirred to care for orphans through our own adoption.

Give Financially
We have saved and sacrificed over the last two year,s so we could afford to begin this process. It is indeed very expensive, but we are trusting in the Lord that he will provide the means to bring our child home. However, if you would like to help us fund this adoption there are a few ways that we have made that available.

For more information visit their blog!

http://yestoadoption.blogspot.com/

Come on People It is Christmas Time!

This is a real short post but I just felt the need to put it out there publicly what I witnessed today:

I went to Hobby Lobby to return some ornaments and get some stuff for Copelyn's scrapbook. After standing in line for 20 minutes I finally reached the register to only find out they had one return/exchange line & I had to go wait in it. For a pregnant girl who had to potty I was a little discouraged but rather than complain I made my way to the back of the long exchange line. As I was nearing the register I overheard the lady at the front of the line YELLING at the person ringing her up because they did not have enough of the wrapping paper she wanted. How this was the girls fault I still do not understand? The poor girl had tears strolling down her face. It took all of me to hold myself back and not cause a scene with this rude, mean lady. I am sure I could have taken her down with my hormonal self! haha

So let's remember when we are out in all the hustle and bustle of the holiday season what Christmas is really about. When you start to get frustrated please just think about all the wonderful things you have to be thankful for this holiday season rather than take it out on someone else!

Happy 30 weeks Copelyn!

Well, we have hit the 30's! Now it is all starting to get real and I am actually starting to get just a little stressed! I really realized this the other day when I began to pack her diaper bag. I honestly had no idea what I should and should not pack! My friend laughed at me lovingly when I told her I packed three diapers and some wipes. I guess I have a lot to learn these next 10 weeks.

Yesterday we celebrated Copelyn with all of our Georgia friends and family. My sister-in-laws & mother-in-law gave us the shower. It was absolutely beautiful & wonderful. I have to brag on them for a minute because I love them all dearly. It is so nice to have a "home away from my home" here in Georgia & to know if I ever need anything they will be there with open arms. Everyone that came to the shower was so fun & giving towards our little girl. I believe she is pretty much set for her first year of life! Her closet is full of clothes, mostly pink!! We are just so thankful for all the love & support our friends & family have provided for our family. We are very blessed!

I am feeling pretty good! My belly went through a growth spurt this past week! It was like over night...I woke up and just say WOAH! I think Scott thought that in a nice way as well! haha. I guess a big belly is a good thing because that means Copelyn is growing into a very healthy baby!

We have her nursery almost finished so hopefully by next week I will have the finished product to post. For now, Have a great week!!

Copelyn Update/29 weeks

Only one more week in the twenties! Wowzers!! It seems like the end is near and the weeks keep going faster & faster. I find myself staring in the mirror a lot wondering how much bigger this stomach of mine could possibly get but other mothers assure me it will expand to no other these next few weeks. It is getting harder to get out of bed gracefully in the mornings. I kind of have to put my butt into it more and push with my lower back to get this big belly of mine up!

We had our glucose test this last week and a checkup. All I have to say is it took everything within me to keep that syrupy, sugary drink down. Ugh! and then the rest of the day I felt pretty bad. I felt like I had just consumed five pieces of chocolate cake and I was on a sugar high for the next 10 hours! Little Copelyn on the other hand is measuring quite ahead. She has a big belly, chunky legs, and a beautiful face. The only complaint we have is I have developed a pretty significant hernia. I have had it for about 4 weeks but just ignored it. This past week I finally asked the doctor about it because I thought it was a bulging vein. Sure enough, my diagnosis was wrong! It is pretty painful but there is not much you can do for a pregnant women with a hernia. So we just will wait until February to fix that!

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving this year filled with great company & wonderful food. We spent it with the Urbizo family at their house. We pretty much ended up having every side dish you could think of. A family tradition the Urbizos have is to go around the table & to say what we are thankful for. This was so special and I pretty much cried for every persons little speech. We have so much to be thankful for this year. A healthy baby, a happy family, our health, and most importantly God's grace upon all of our lives. It was around this time last year that we found out we were pregnant with our Surprise baby!! So much has changed since then... We have suffered a great loss, experienced grief, been through marriage growing pains, waited patiently on the Lord, and in the end God always provided. I think back to when I first found out I was pregnant this time last year. Was I thankful? Honestly, probably not like I should have been. I was scared & uneasy because it wasn't part of our plan. But our unfailing God proved time and time again he has the best plan. Three months later when that baby was taken from me our world was shaken and I honestly did not know how to go on. Now looking back I am so thankful God took us through that season of life. It is funny when we are going through the storm we want to stomp our feet and wonder why God? But after we have walked through the valley and for a moment we are standing tall on a mountain we begin to understand God had his hand in all of it. I am so thankful for our Copelyn, I am thankful for our baby in heaven that I will one day meet again, I am thankful for a God who loves me even though I am so undeserving, and I am thankful for my wonderful husband and family! Praise Jesus!!

Well hello Third Trimester/28 weeks!!!

Wow I can't believe it is finally here! The final stretch to meeting our sweet Copelyn Reese!! I am feeling great. I really have no discomforts except for one bulging vein in my upper thigh that makes it hard to sit for long periods of time. Other than that though, this little girl has been mighty nice to me. I still am keeping up my exercise routine daily & hoping that can continue until the day I deliver. I joke with the folks at the gym that if my water breaks on the elliptical I will call that SUCCESS! Copelyn moves randomly. Her favorite thing to do is stretch her little booty into my stomach and push out. It makes for a very uncomfortable mommy but after a few pushes she will go back to normal. I just like to think she is dancing in my womb! Copelyn is getting so big!! She weighs two and a quarter pounds and measures 14.8 inches from the top of her head to her heels.

This past weekend we headed home for our baby shower in Virginia. It was amazing! The shower itself was more than I could have ever imagined and we are so appreciative of everyone who came to celebrate with us. I know one thing is for sure...our Copelyn is very loved. She received so many nice things!! Let's see...a highchair, her first north face jacket, monogrammed outfits, a green little chair for her to sit in with her name on it, and so much more!! I just couldn't wait to get home to organize it all. The best part of the whole weekend was all the people we got to spend time with. It was so nice to be surrounded by so many wonderful people!

Many at the shower wanted to know all the details of the pregnancy thus far and of course they wanted to know my birth plan! Well, the plan is to go all natural. I have read my books and signed up for a class! I am ready to go. Thankfully, Scott is very supportive of this. He wants whatever I feel is best for us both. I have always been the type of person who loved setting extreme goals for myself & seeing them through. I think that is why I love running so much. I could always challenge myself to the next level. I realize there is no medal or award after giving birth to a sweet baby naturally but it is what I have always dreamed of doing and it is what I am going to stick to! So what is my birth plan? Well, the plan is all natural of course but other than that there is no plan. There really is only two things concrete in my birth plan...1. NO CYTOTEC!! and 2. No mention of an epidural. Other than that, God designed me able to do this! Of course I will prepare mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I have taken every bit of advice from my neighbor who has done it two times all natural and I will follow her techniques to get little Copelyn here safely.

Oh yall I am just so excited!! Only a few more weeks to go!! I just can't wait. I am so incredibly thankful to God for this precious miracle growing inside of me. It is such an amazing experience!!

Below are pictures from the beautiful shower....

God Always has a Plan!!

I woke up this morning at 3am and rolled over to check my phone. I never really do this but lately (like 3 different times) I have woke up feeling like I should check my phone.

Last week I woke up to find a text from a friend who had just gone to the hospital. She was 24 weeks pregnant and having some complications. I woke up feeling like I needed to be praying for someone. Sure enough as I checked my phone I realized the reason God had woken me up.

Last night when I woke up at 3 am I had a very sweet email from someone who I had crossed paths with a while back. I will share the email below. The significance of the email is that it is the 52 email I have gotten that my miscarriage story has helped someone in someway. 52!!!! That is just crazy to me. It isn't about the number at all because God prompted me to share my story in hope that one person could be helped by it. It just amazes me that he brought 52 people to my story.

Here is the email I got early this morning. I took out all people identifiers just to protect the person's privacy. I wish I could include all 52 emails because it is so neat to see the way God has used this.

Hey Lauren,

I don't know if you remember me. First off, I have followed your blog and facebook whenever I see it pop up and your words of love, life, faith, and loss really have spoken to me. When people say they are writing just to write and don't know who is reading, well I am and you have a way with your words.

It has been so fun reading about your new journey to becoming a mom. I think your experience with loss has made this journey for the two of you now even sweeter. Someone I know had a miscarriage three months ago and we were wracking our brains on something little we could do for her and ended up we wrote her a card and I included your blog url. A few weeks later she told me that it helped so much to read your posts. I wanted to let you know that.

Even though we are pregnant again with our sweet baby Copelyn, there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about our loss or the journey it took to get through that valley of our lives. There is no sugar coating it...it stunk! Yes, from the outside we appeared to have it together & yes, we tried to bring glory to God through our struggle BUT there were many days we failed. I never forget that some people who read our blog still might be struggling. That is why even through the HAPPY blogs of bragging about our Copelyn or celebrating the milestones we get to in this pregnancy I don't ever forget the hard times we had to endure.

Now that I have reached 27 weeks it doesn't mean it gets any easier. I still have the same worries and same fears but I have total faith in our God.

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1

Copelyn has still been quite the quiet little one. I just look forward to her little kicks and oh boy can this little girl kick! We don't really have any kind of cravings and I am really not any more hungry than usual. My hubby is trying to make me fat though!! He brings home cupcakes like they are going out of style! Her nursery is almost complete and every wall is covered! I just can't wait until February gets here so I can hold her.

Thanks God for that reality check....

As I strolled through Hobby Lobby looking through all the decorations I became frustrated and very overwhelmed. There was so much that I wanted so badly but knew our one income checking account couldn't afford it right now especially with a baby on the way. I still looked around for about an hour and the more I looked the more frustrated I became.

I had a whole house decorated for Christmas last year and it was beautiful. Why did I need more this year? Why wasn't I content with what I already had?

As I got in my car I felt very convicted to just pray. Then this verse came into my head:
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21

See the truth of the matter is I can't take any of this here with me to heaven. If I put my "treasure" in decorating my house that is where my heart will be this holiday season. Instead I need to be putting my treasure in the people I love and God. They are far more important than any kind of stuff I could accumulate.

26 weeks!

Well we are moving right along here and staying very busy! This past weekend I had my first baby shower with my school friends! Even though it was a bad weekend for everyone with rotations and all, we still had a blast with the people that could make it! I received so many nice things for Copelyn! I am so excited...now I just gotta figure out how to use this stuff!

Between this past Saturday and next Sunday I have to attend six different baby showers!! Babies Babies everywhere haha! I have so much fun attending these showers! It is so much fun to celebrate all these blessings!

Scott & I have been preparing for childbirth...well sort of. I got a book and I generally sit on our counter in the bathroom while he showers and read little tid bits to him. He has informed me as of last week that our insurance has changed & with our new insurance an epidural costs close to $1,000!!! That is craziness. So my sweet husband said, "Babe, you can tough it out!" Surely he was kidding! I am still planning to go all natural so my sweet husband may get his wish!

This past weekend we took our Christmas pictures! It is something we do every year! It amazed me this year how much Molly has grown and changed. She did so well. She loves the camera!! She is quite the little diva. Sometimes I have to remind her she is a DOG! I don't think she comprehends though! We used Lizzie Lemoine Photography this year! She was so wonderful & super affordable. I can't wait to get my Christmas Cards made!

Nothing really new with Mommy & Copelyn. She is growing for sure. She weighs about a pound & two thirds & is about 14 inches long! She is the size of an English hothouse cucumber. Only three more months to go and I get to meet my little one! She is already so loved by her Mommy & Daddy as well as all our friends & family!

Here is my belly at 26 weeks! I feel like I look like a giant hippo!

Like Mother...Like Daughter

As I sat in my bubble bath last night for the 8th night in a row...I found myself laughing out loud. Yes it has happened. I am my mother! Now, I am not saying this is a bad thing but I have to laugh at myself because as I get older everything I said as a young girl that I wouldn't do just like my mom I have found myself doing. It must be instilled in my being! And then I found myself wondering will Copelyn be just like me:)

I remember thinking when I was younger as I watched my mom every year dig out her boxes & boxes for each and every holiday, I will never spend money on holiday decorations! What a waste of money. Well...if you know me at all you know that I no longer feel this way! I am actually worse than my mom. I LOVE HOLIDAY DECORATIONS!!! Christmas, Thanksgiving, St. Patrick's Day, Valentines Day, Memorial Day, Easter...you name it...I decorate for it!

Mom always had the house clean growing up. You could practically lick the floor it was so clean. Once again I remember thinking...I will never be like that!! Haha! Well, I clean my house at least twice a week. Like mother like daughter:)

Or how about how my mom cares so much for others and does for others before herself. I remember a number of times when my mom would take me shopping for a whole day & not buy herself one thing. I never really acted like I noticed but now that I am about to be a mom I really realize how much she gave up so I could have. Just the other day in Target I found Copelyn the cutest pair of boots. I want her sweet feet to stay warm this winter! Well, I wanted a pair of boots too! I knew I couldn't get both of them so I had to choose. And of course I chose my daughter. I am thankful my mom served and set as an example of what it is like to unconditionally love others. It isn't about buying the people we love THINGS...it is about putting the ones we love unselfishly before ourselves.

Then there is the time that my mom and I were involved in an apartment fire. It was 2am when the firefighters were banging on our door to evacuate us from the nearby burning building. Well, my mom couldn't dare leave the apartment without putting her face on!! So she quickly put her makeup on before we evacuated. haha Well, I have become like that too! I can't leave the house without putting a little mascara and powder on.

I love my mom so much. I am so thankful for the relationship we have. I love how we talk five times a day and I look forward to our hour long conversations every day! She is my very best friend. I pray that Copelyn and I can have a close relationship like this. One where she isn't afraid to tell me things, where she trusts my advice, and most importantly knows I will be praying for her each & every day. I am so lucky to have the mom that I have. I pray that Copelyn will look back 25 years from now and say the same about me.

Moving right along....

Well, we have officially hit 25 weeks!! We have had the best time organizing Copelyn's nursery and hanging some things on the walls. I am still anxiously awaiting her name to hang on the wall that I ordered. We had an appointment this past week. Everything went wonderfully! Copelyn was wiggling around like crazy and her heart beat was loud & strong. I love that sound! I have stayed within the limits of weight gain so far for where I am in my pregnancy. I just close my eyes when I step on the scale though....haha! I have never seen those numbers before! So far I have gained 12 pounds so we are on track to gain about the right amount. Either way though, it doesn't matter as long as I have a healthy baby in my arms in February! I don't have any weird cravings or anything & I am not any more hungry. I do have days though (more in the last two weeks) where I want FRENCH FRIES! I used to just put it off but now I have been treating myself at least once a week! I have to say the new Wendy's Natural Cut French Fries are to die for and Copelyn agrees! She goes crazy when those hit my tummy. We have continued to exercise and keep up our routine. I do get winded more easily and have to take more breaks but I still enjoy just doing something daily. I drink A LOT of water! I Probably consume about 1 Liter just when I am exercising which isn't good for the bladder! So it takes us a little longer to get through our workout due to potty breaks but we make it! I still haven't been very good about doing my kegal exercises. Honestly, I can't quite figure out if I am doing them right! haha Oh well, I do the best I can!

Copelyn doesn't move very much. She has her moments and it is typically only when she wants to do it not when we are pushing on her trying to get her to move. The other night I was laying on our bed and all of a sudden I saw what looked like an elbow push against me. It was so weird. She kept doing it over and over again. It was so cool for Scott & I to watch. Other than that though she will give me a few nudges here and there. We call her "Thumper" because when we press on my stomach it feels like she thumps against us continuously.

I have gotten my first few books to read. One on breastfeeding and one on natural birth. My plan is to try it with no medicine and I have a very supportive doctor. She just goes with the flow. We start our birth classes too! I can't wait to learn because I honestly know nothing!

Next weekend we get our yearly Christmas pictures made. We are bringing Molly with us and I can't wait to see how they turn out! I love making Christmas cards!

I have some updates of Copelyn's room below. They were taken with my phone so not the best quality. The round mirror is something Scott found at TJ MAXX Homegoods. I wanted a square one...he wanted a round one. I guess Daddy won!! We still have a ways to go but it is getting there! At least our little girl has a nursery to sleep in!

Oh What a Day!

(This post was written Friday night, I just forgot to post it)

I was not going to post about this but then I figured its all part of the story and one day when I print these posts for Copelyn I want her to know every detail of the journey to get her here safely! This morning I woke up and it was just like any other day. I went to the gym, rushed home & showered, then sat in my two hour rush hour traffic (oh Atlanta how I love you!). As soon as I got to my rotation I was busy! I was running around like crazy and then all of a sudden I felt a gush of water. I was in shock and I ran to the bathroom. I will spare you of the details but long story short I decided to go about my day for just a bit (stupid on my part, right?). Honestly, I didn't want to call the doctor's office because I didn't want to bother them again! I feel like I have become THAT patient who calls about every little thing. I had just called last week because I was very ill with some kind of flu bug. I didn't want to call again! Well, about two hours later I started getting really bad abdominal pains. At this point I decided to wait no more and I called the doctor. I just love them at the office! They are always so sweet to me. The nurse called me back & told me I needed to go to labor & delivery to get checked out.

WHAT!? Labor and Delivery! My thought exactly. I am not supposed to set foot in that place until February. So I rushed to my car and drove as fast as I could to the hospital. While all this was happening my poor husband was stuck at the house waiting on Copelyn's furniture to arrive. We made the executive decision he would wait around for the furniture until we knew for sure what was going on with me.

To make a LONG story short everything is okay! It was the first time I had done anything doctor related for Copelyn alone without Scott. And I won't be doing that again. I am a strong person but Scott is my calm presence. When he is around for some reason we handle situations so much better. They hooked me up the monitor. At first they couldn't find Copelyn's heart beat. Talk about scared out of my mind. I sat there with my hand over my eyes just praying. This little baby stresses me! They finally found it (after what felt like 5 minutes) and she was just fine. Her heart beat was 155. Then my wonderful doctor (she truly is a blessing to us) came in to see what was going on. She assured me first that she thought it was fine. Oh where would I be without her? She is so calm about everything and she makes everyone of her patients feel so comfortable. The gush of water could have been three things: 1. my water broke, 2. leaking fluid, or 3. just pee. Come to find out sweet Copelyn's head is on my bladder and she is pushing the pee out of me! haha I know gross right!? I also have not been doing my kegal exercises the way I should! After 3 hours of being in L&D I got to come home...Praise Jesus! Home is where I want to stay until February!

When I got home Scott had put the whole nursery together to surprise me! What a wonderful surprise! We still have wall decorations to put up and I ordered her name to put over the crib which is painted like her nursery bedding. All in all, Mommy and Copelyn are just fine! I really wish she would move over just a bit though but I guess my tummy is her home for the next 3 1/2 months and I don't have control over where she decides to take her naps.

Words for my Little Girl

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home
in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.
- 2 Corinthians 4:16 - 5:9

I have been quite emotional lately. I guess when you are 23 1/2 weeks pregnant you have a lot of hormones raging! If you ever see me on 85 in the morning on my 2 hour commute, just don't pay any attention to the tears strolling down my face or the mountain of tissues next to me. I don't cry because I am sad...I cry because I am so happy. Losing a sweet baby has made me hold tight to what I do have now and not pay much attention to the material things of this world. I guess you could say my world got shaken back into perspective. I am so in love with my husband. I love him more and more every single day. He loves me so well and I am so grateful for that. He never complains...he just aims to love me fully. Each and every morning he makes me coffee and an egg mcmuffin (they are so much better than panera's!). He scrubs the shower like no one I have ever seen! Ahh I love the smell of bleach and a clean bathroom. I love how he is so into football & every single game that comes on the TV but he will give it up in an instant for a walk or a dinner date with me. We fight ocassionally but through each and every disagreement I love him more because of his willingness to fight for me and never give up. I love the dad he is to Copelyn. I am so excited for her that she has a daddy that will love her so incredibly much! And even more excited that she has a heavenly father who loves her more than her daddy and I will ever know.

I love Copelyn so much as well! With every kick, I fall in love even more. I can't wait to kiss her little face, toes, and hands in February. I have found myself in prayer a whole lot more lately. On my knees praising Jesus. I pray for Copelyn's heart mostly. I want her to love Jesus more than anything. I want her to have a heart for other people. I want to protect her heart from suffering. I know as her mother I have no control over these things. I can feed her soul with verses from the Bible but God has to do the rest. Even though she is my daughter, she is first and foremost a child of God. He has all of her days planned out. He knows the second she will be born and the second she will go to heaven to be with him & live eternally. He knows every hair on her head, every crease in her skin, and what all of her insecurities will be. He knows EVERYTHING! It will take me a lifetime to learn everything God knows about Copelyn.

There is a song that comes to mind today..Safe by Phil Wickham. I let Copelyn listen to it daily. They say she can hear everything going on. I want her to know she will be Safe in God's arms. He will protect her even when everything is falling a part. This has been so true of my life. My goodness have we been through some storms. God has always kept me safe though. Even on days that seemed unbearable he provided an unending peace in my heart. I will never be alone with him. He has the whole world in his hands including my little world. Isn't that wonderful news?

Fall Weekend Getaway!

Scott and I headed to the mountains this weekend to meet my family and my mom's high school buddies who so graciously let all of us stay in their beautiful house. Even though I have been sick for a few days (and still feel awful!!) nothing will stop me from seeing my family!

Friday we got in late and they cooked a wonderful dinner for us. We sat around the fire & talked for a while but this pregnant lady can't last long! By about 10pm I was falling asleep on the couch!

Saturday morning Scott & I cooked a big breakfast for everyone! It was so yummy! Breakfast is my favorite meal so I love to go all out for a yummy Southern breakfast! Then we headed out to town! We went to a craft show where we bought Copelyn 10 bows and 10 headbands! We also got her a dress! This child will be well-clothed! Then we went to a bunch of mountain consignment stores! We found this one place that had a cute small antique wheel barrel to keep toys in for Copelyn & they had antique green birds to match her room. Then Saturday night everyone got to feel Copelyn move! I was so glad my mom got to feel her since I don't get to see her very much!

And then today we left! It is always so nice to see everyone but it takes me about a week to recover from leaving them! We always have the best time!

Here are some pictures from our trip and of course my belly picture at 23 weeks!

A Fall Cooking Kind of Day!

It is very rare I get to be at home by myself all day! Today was one of those days! I am off because of Columbus Day! Thank you Mr. Columbus for sailing the ocean blue so I could have a day off! I decided to get up kind of early go for a workout, then spend the rest of the day cleaning and cooking!

I started off with these awesome Pumpkin Muffins. They are so good and so easy!
All you do is buy 1 Spice Cake Mix Box and 1 can of pumpkin. You mix just those two ingredients together put them in a muffin pan, and bake at 350 degrees for about 15 minutes. The friends who gave us this recipe suggest to add chocolate chips to them as well. Since, Scott is on a workout/weight loss journey before he turns 30 I decided to leave those out! They are still AMAZING and YUMMY!

Then I made this really fresh recipe called Orzo Pasta Salad. My sister-in-law gave me the recipe a while back and it is just so good. The original recipe has LOTS of ingredients but it is so worth it. The one I made today was tweaked a bit to save some money!

Original Recipe:
Salt
Olive Oil
¾ pound Orzo
½ cup freshly squeezed lemon juice (3 lemons)
freshly ground black pepper
1 cup minced scallions, white and green parts
1 cup chopped fresh dill, discard stems
1 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley, discard stems
1 hot house cucumber, unpeeled, diced (the kind sold wrapped in plastic)
½ cup diced red onion
¾ pound good feta cheese, cubed (buy the chunk feta)
1 pt. grape tomatoes, you can leave whole or cut in half

Fill large pot with water, add 1 tablespoon salt and a splash of oil, and bring the water to a boil. Add the orzo and simmer for 7-9 minutes, stirring occasionally, until it’s cooked al dente. Drain, rise with room temp water to keep the orzo from overcooking itself, and pour into a large bowl. Whisk together the lemon juice, ½ cup olive oil, 2 teaspoons salt and 1 teaspoon pepper. Pour over the hot pasta and stir well. Add the scallions, dill, parsley, and cucumber, and mix well. Add onion, tomatoes and toss well. Add the feta and stir carefully. Set aside at room temperature for 1 hour to allow the flavors to blend, or refrigerate overnight. But, bring back to room temp and stir before serving.

The one I made today includes: Orzo, olive oil, 2 lemons, 1 pt. grape tomatoes, 1/2 cup diced red onion, Feta cheese, ground pepper, salt, basil and a cucumber diced. It is good either way!! I serve it over fresh spinach and it just tastes so fresh! Enjoy!

22 and 23 weeks!

Sorry I have not posted in a while! My rotation has been sucking the life out of me and by the time I get home all I want to do is go to sleep! We have been pretty busy people. Last weekend we went to the pumpkin patch, apple picking, and a wedding all in one day! I was wiped! Then this weekend we had a date night Friday night, Saturday I went to lunch with some girlfriends and then we went to dinner with some friends in Athens, then Sunday we went out for a friends birthday, went to church, then out to dinner with some friends! It was crazy busy. I told Scott I want to put a date in my calendar where I just sit in my recliner all day and don't move!!

Copelyn is a pretty laid back, calm baby so far. She doesn't do much moving during the day but at night she gets pretty active for a good hour. She is funny. When we press on my stomach she will kick us back and it seems as though she knows her Daddy's hands because when he pushes she kicks him back really fast & hard! She must already love him more! Go figure.

Her room is coming a long very nicely. We added shelving to her closet and I have been organizing all her clothes. I can't wait for her furniture to get here in two weeks! Then I think it will really look like a room we can bring our baby girl home to in February.

Tonight we tried out a brand new church. We have been waiting for it to open now for a good while. We are so pumped about being a part of a church from the very beginning and watching it grow. Many of you probably have heard of Andy Stanley. If you haven't you should google him and listen to a sermon. Well, the church we are attending is called Gwinnett Church and it is one of his churches. We are so excited for the many opportunities to come and to be able to serve there.

Sorry for such a boring post! I am going to try to write some more encouraging words sometime this week!

Ultrasound Update!

We had an incredible ultrasound today! I have to say our doctor's office has become like family to us. They have been with us through the good, the bad, and the ugly & still greet us with a smile when we walk through the door. You know you call WAY too much when everyone in the office knows you by name! I have been good though...I haven't called to ask a question in THREE week!! That is good for me:)

First and foremost, Copelyn is still a GIRL! We took the chance and told everyone we were having a girl after 16 weeks knowing there would be a slight chance they could be wrong. We were relieved when Copelyn gave us a clear shot and we could tell for sure she was a girl! Good thing because her room is already pink, she already has monogrammed clothes, and her bedding is pink! We would have been in trouble!

Copelyn was perfect! She had ten fingers, ten toes, and the cutest little nose. She also had long legs & quite the little butt! She wouldn't be my child though if she didn't have some kind of butt! Sorry Copelyn it just runs in our family! All of her organs looked perfect! It amazes me every time I see her! I am so thankful God intricately designed her to make her unique in his image. I think he did a great job!

We got a lot of images today but I didn't have time to scan them so here is some taken with my phone! I will post more later!

And here is our spoiled puppy! She has a reality check coming in the next few months when she realizes she isn't an only child anymore! Oh good lord!

20 weeks!

I can't promise I will be a faithful blogger every week but I will try! Week 20 has been busy. Like I said before I NEVER SIT DOWN! Right now my rotation is in Nutritional Support at a big hospital in the Atlanta Area. I am in the ICU a lot and it is just emotionally/physically demanding each and every day. I am pretty sure that today I walked at least 6 miles up stairs and around the hospital. Copelyn doesn't move much on days like today. I think she is probably just trying to sleep through it all. I can't say I really blame her!!

Scott has been working very hard to get the nursery painted. We put the bead board up for our first baby back in January so that has been done for quite some time. Now it just needs to be painted off white! I insisted that the walls be a light green or yellow but Daddy said NO WAY! He had to have pink! And honestly I am too exhausted to even put up a fight so I just gave in. Pink it is! Here is a picture of a corner of her room:) The rest was too messy to take a picture of at the moment.

And all of her bedding came in! Most of it is in boxes but I opened up some of it just to get a peak!

And of course her very first outfit I bought! It is nothing special but I just love the ruffle butt pants!

All week at the hospital people have been asking me "how far along I am!?" I love when they do this because this gives me the opportunity to brag on my Copelyn! And share my story. I am sure half these people don't want to know everything that we have gone through since February but I don't really care! haha I just feel like God uses me with our story so I will keep telling it!

Yesterday, we visited some friends at the hospital. One of them had just had their sweet baby girl! As we were leaving the hospital and paying our parking ticket the lady asked if we would be coming back? I don't know what came over me but I yelled, "YES in 20 weeks!." She said, "Wow, you are really excited!" I am very excited! I just can't wait until February! I am so thankful for the miracle God has created!

Tomorrow we have an ultrasound at 2:30pm. Just like any other ultrasound I am fearful. I have spent a lot of time praying over this the past week. I don't want to be scared to go see our baby on the ultrasound! I want to be excited and happy! I know so many of you are praying for us and trust me we feel it! Please pray though tonight and tomorrow for our baby and that she is healthy! Also, pray I can enjoy an ultrasound for once and not close my eyes.

I hope you all have a good week! I will update tomorrow or Friday with Copelyn's ultrasound!

James 1:2-4 Dear brothers and sisters when troubles come your way consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, Your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

Here is a 20 week belly picture!

19 weeks

Well we are almost half way there! Yay! We have been quite the busy bees lately. I feel like I never sit down anymore which could be a good thing for my bootie in the long run. This past weekend I convinced Scott, my mother in law, my father in law, and my dad to go on a hike to Amicola Falls. This hike is so beautiful! If you get a chance you should go! It starts with a 650 stair climb to the top where you then pick up the trails. We chose the 8 mile trail. It was so funny because the WHOLE time the men complained and the women on the other hand did not utter a word! The three men even stopped these two old ladies and asked them for food. haha. Men can be babies!

Copelyn and I are doing just great! She started kicking me last night. It made me so excited! She did it once a few times so then I laid on my back to see if I could get her to do again. Come to find out little Copelyn doesn't like to do things that she doesn't want to do. Hmmmm....maybe she has her daddy in her a bit!? It was the best feeling ever! Then this morning she did it again. I get up at 4:45am every day to go exercise. (which she may pay me back for once she is here) I was listening to my worship music loud this morning and all of a sudden she started moving again! Ahh I just love it!

I have started to get into nesting mode. I have decided I will clean out every closet in this house! We have gotten all of Copelyn's furniture and most of her basic bedding which I am so excited about. We are going to start painting the walls tomorrow! We decided on light pink walls much to my discretion. But sweet daddy just had to have PINK, PINK, and more PINK in his baby girls nursery. I couldn't fight him much on that. Here is a picture of her bedding:

I have decided to monogram pretty much everything of Copelyn's! I don't think she will ever have trouble remembering her name or her initials for that matter. I guess that is the southern girl in me.

On another note, I wanted to speak on fear and God. On our hike Saturday I was reminded of a conversation I had not too long ago with a very wise Godly woman in my life. I had called her and asked her if she thought everything would be okay with the baby. I was so fearful of something happening again that I needed SOMEONE to just tell me YES. The reality is I was ignoring God with this issue. I didn't really want to ask him if everything was going to be okay. Don't get me wrong I prayed for our baby every single day and asked for him to protect my child and make the heart beat strong. I guess you could say I was embarrassed to go to him and just say, "Look...I am fearful...I am weak...and I truly am doubting if everything will be okay. Will you please just calm my heart and calm my fears?" I thankfully have someone in my life who loves me enough to not just tell me YES. Instead, she told me that she was NOT God so of course she could not guarantee me or anyone for that matter that everything in life will be okay. The one thing she could guarantee was that fear DOES NOT come from God. It comes from Satan.

I learned that day that I couldn't let fear control me. If I did not pray it out of me I was going to teach my child fear when she was born. I did not want my child to fear. For me, this all started with the miscarriage. So then now that I was pregnant again I feared something could happen in the pregnancy. Then if this continued I would fear once the baby got here that something would happen. You get it...it would be this awful cycle. I would end up having fear for my child for the rest of her life.

Even though I have not perfected this I have chosen to give this issue to God. I am so thankful he loves me and knows I am not perfect. He will shape me daily and I know eventually I will break free of this fear. Praise Jesus!

Here is my belly at 19 weeks:)

Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd;I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings.
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.

Gender Reveal Party

When we found out we were pregnant on June 7 we held back every bit of excited emotion. We told ourselves we would not allow our hearts to grow attached until 12 weeks. Well, this is kind of hard to do when God's miracle is growing inside of you. Instead of buying baby clothes or anything baby for that matter...We prayed. We always pray but we knew that all the fear in our hearts could only be handled by one person and that is Jesus. He calmed our hearts and reminded us daily that he designed this little one inside of me.

Then we hit 12 weeks and I thought all the fear would go away. Ha! No not at all. I was waiting for the moment it would all just click and I would jump for joy for the blessing God had given us.

Then around 13 weeks when I was working in the NICU I had one of the doctor's tell me..."Lauren at some point you have to give God COMPLETE control. You need to talk to your baby and tell it that you are so excited!" So I did this.

And we then decided to have a gender reveal party! Some people thought we were crazy but we thought we were cool! haha. Our idea behind it all was to have over all of our family & close friends who prayed with us and were there for us during such a rough time. We wanted to give them thanks in someway. And what better way then to have them over, cook tons of food for them, and tell them the gender of our peanut!

So if you know me at all I am a bit of an Extremist as my sweet mom would say! (I get this from her) When we do something we usually go ALL out. So this all started with designing our invitations.

Then came the center of it all...The cake! We are blessed to have two very special friends who offered to have the cake made for us. It was more than I could have ever imagined. I told her the kind of design I wanted and she went from there!

And the best part was when the grandparents cut inside it was PINK!

Then of course the outside had to be decorated! My wonderful mother made all the bows!!

I tried to create a great menu with food everyone would like! We did Barbeque Chicken Sandwiches, Chicken Salad Sandwiches, Pasta Salad, Sausage Balls, Pigs in a Blanket, Buffalo Chicken Dip, Guacamole, Mexicorn Dip, and Islander Cheese Spread. Thankfully, I had some help from great friends with some of the food!

Here are some of our guests! Unfortunately I did not get a picture of nearly half of them!

Then of course there is Copelyn! If you can't tell she is in my belly!

So all in all, our party was so much fun! We learned very quickly yesterday though that our house is not big enough to hold over 50 people for a party! Next party we have we will make sure to have the backyard done so we can fit more people! We feel so incredibly blessed for all the prayers, love, support, and guidance we have received over these past months. God provided abundantly in every way possible! Praise Him!

It's a....

Well after a week of holding it in, the cake has finally been cut! And we can announce that our sweet baby is a GIRL! Ahh it feels so good to say it out loud! This post is going to be for how we found out and then I will post later about our gender reveal party!

Last Friday (September 2) Scott & I went to get an ultrasound from this place in Cumming, Georgia. Our appointment was at 4pm and it seemed like the hours just dragged along throughout the day. We brought my dad to this appointment as well because he had been wanting to see an ultrasound. We all showed up & I was wearing yellow...Scott was wearing blue...and my dad was wearing pink! Honestly, none of us planned it that way. As I laid on the ultrasound table I did my normal routine...I closed my eyes tight and waited for someone to tell me the baby was fine. Once I heard those words I opened my eyes and watched our active little peanut on the screen. The ultrasound lady was making small talk and asking us what we were hoping for. Scott immediately said "Boy" and then he followed it with I just know that is what it is. She kind of smirked. About 5 minutes later, Copelyn decided to cooperate and turn so we could see what she was. The lady said, "Well Sir, I am afraid you are wrong. Looks like your baby is a girl." I was ecstatic and shed a few tears. And then I turned to Scott & he had a grin from ear to ear.

This past week has been kind of hard trying to hide it from everyone but I have to say I wouldn't have had it any other way. The party turned out wonderful and now we can celebrate and scream to the heavens...WE ARE HAVING A GIRL!

Copelyn Reese Urbizo will be making her entrance around February 14, 2012. Daddy has already set a few rules into place for the sweet little one. She can't date until at least 35. She can't talk to boys. She has to wear a one-piece to the pool. She has to love her daddy more than her mommy.:) haha

In all reality though, we feel so blessed. Our prayer is for a healthy, happy baby. We also pray for her future and that she has a relationship with her Lord & Savior each and everyday of her life. We pray that we can be wonderful parents to her and even though we know we won't always meet her expectations we pray she will love us unconditionally as we do life together.

We ask that you continue to pray for us and our little one! Thank you all! Yay!

Authentic Friendships

As I walked into my rotation this morning (kind of dreading the day) I received an email from a very close friend. Don't get me wrong I truly love my preceptor and rotation right now but I have been dreading the day I had to step foot into the adult ICU since my first year of pharmacy school. I honestly couldn't figure out for the longest time why it bothered me so much. The smallest, tiniest babies in the NICU didn't bother me at all but when it came to the big people it just got under my skin. I finally narrowed it down in prayer one night. I have a very hard time because I am not totally sure that all the adults have salvation whereas the babies I know for sure are going on to be with Jesus if it is their time to go.

So when I got this email this morning I was racing through my mind with negative thoughts. And then I was reminded how blessed I am with great friendship and even on days when I doubt my ability to face my fears & push through them I have people behind me praying for me that love me! Authentic Friends are so very important. Rick Warren does a good job of explaining this below. I hope you are encouraged.

Authentic Friendships
by Rick Warren

But if we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other. Then the blood of Jesus, God's Son, cleanses us from every sin. If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves, and the truth is not in us. (1 John 1:7-8 NCV)

In Christian fellowship people should experience authenticity.

Authentic fellowship is not superficial, surface-level chit-chat. It’s genuine, heart-to-heart, sometimes gut-level, sharing.

It happens when people get honest about who they are and what is happening in their lives. They share their hurts, reveal their feelings, confess their failures, disclose their doubts, admit their fears, acknowledge their weaknesses, and ask for help and prayer.

Authenticity is the exact opposite of what you find in many churches. Instead of an atmosphere of honesty and humility, there is pretending, role-playing, politicking and superficial politeness, but shallow conversation.

People wear masks, keep their guards up, and act as if everything is rosy in their lives. These attitudes are the death of real friendship.

It’s only as we become open about our lives that we experience authentic fellowship. The Bible says, “If we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other.… If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves” (1 John 1:7–8, NCV).

The world thinks intimacy occurs in the dark, but God says it happens in the light. We tend to use darkness to hide our hurts, faults, fears, failures and flaws. But in the light, we bring them all out into the open and admit who we really are.

Of course, being authentic requires both courage and humility. It means facing our fear of exposure, rejection and being hurt again.

Why would anyone take such a risk?

Because it’s the only way to grow spiritually and be emotionally healthy. The Bible says, “Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed” ( James 5:16a, Msg).

Wisdom for Mom's Part 1

Title: Play Wisdom for Moms 1 - Living Proof with Beth Moore

Link: http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/living-proof-with-beth-moore/player/wisdom-for-moms-1-104123.html

A few weeks ago my Mother in Law sent all of her daughter in laws & daughter the sermon series titled How Wisdom Looks on a Wife. After listening to the whole series I decided to explore more into Beth Moore's sermons. It was totally a God thing that I stumbled across the Wisdom for Moms series. My prayer ever since I became pregnant was that I would be the best mother & example for our child. Then I found myself asking God...how do I do this? I know I will never be perfect. But I have found if I read my bible, live a life that leads by example for my children, and always put God & my husband first I will be a great mother to my sweet baby. I just thought I would share this wonderful sermon with all of you mom's and soon to be mom's.

It's the Little & Big Prayers...

God answers so many of my prayers both big and small.

For the past 4 years since I left Auburn I have prayed I would find someone who loved to exercise and would want to run/do the elliptical with me! I get pretty bored very easily and it is so nice to have someone to talk to. I was pretty spoiled at Auburn because I had two wonderful women who loved to run and we pretty much ran every day! Well, 4 years later God FINALLY answered this prayer! yay! For the past two weeks, I have been meeting my new friend Katie at 5am every morning to workout! I just feel so blessed!

Then there is the small prayer about finding a curtain for our living room! haha. I know silly, right!? Well after 5 months of searching hard we finally found one we actually both like! yay! And it was on sale! Even better!

Then there is the big prayers and the big blessings like our little baby being healthy. We had an ultrasound yesterday to find out the gender of our sweet little one. We tried so hard to go through with our original plan of having the ultrasound lady write it on a piece of paper & put it in an envelope to give to the cake people. We were going to wait until September 11 for our gender party to find out BUT when you are there in the moment it is just too exciting to pass up the news. So...we know what we are having!! But we will be keeping it a secret from everyone until we cut that yummy cake! Our baby is an active, running machine! It is precious! I was going to include some pictures from the ultrasound but Scott didn't want to compromise our party! haha! So instead I am posting my belly at almost 17 weeks! And I will be back to write again on September 11 with pictures of the baby!

Out of the Darkness

Up until June 7, 2011 I labelled myself daily as someone who had a miscarriage. I wore it on my heart, my sleeve, and I swear sometimes it was even written on my forehead. When I found out I was pregnant those feelings did not necessarily change. I worried DAILY...what if it happens again!? It haunted me in my prayers, my dreams, my conversations, and my marriage. Goodness the pain never stopped. It was like a knife sticking in my heart constantly and I couldn't get the wound to heal. It hasn't been an easy road these past 16 weeks. I have been such a hypocrite and I have had to ask for forgiveness daily for not trusting God fully, for fearing the future, and for trying to control the whole situation. When my friends come to me with prayer requests or their struggles my answer always comes back to trusting God with their lives, burdens, and struggles & here I was preaching this to friends & I couldn't even do it in my own life.

Then there was the complete other side of things. I struggled with a completely different ballgame. Since February 4 I have had about 6 friends miscarry as well as about 10 other people email me from my blog postings about their miscarriages. Oh it hurt my heart. It was like God gave me my own little "miscarriage" club. It never was fun. The conversations were full of tears, doubt, pain, and anger. Then when I became pregnant again I didn't know what to do. I wanted to still love on these women and help them through this time in their lives. I wanted to remain sensitive because I knew what they were going through. I knew they would be so happy for me but also deep in their hearts & souls they would feel a sting. And then they would revisit the same questions I revisited so many times...When will it happen to me?

This is hard stuff. But one thing that remained constant the whole time was God. Even on days when I felt like I had no one I could pray and know that God was for me. I always went back to the image of the cross of selflessness. That God loved me so incredibly much that he gave his son to die on the cross for me and for my sins. He loves me that much and I get to spend eternity with him! Ahh that gives me chills!

I was reminded last night of a song from a friends blog. I posted this song a while ago but I just think it is so great and it speaks right to this time in my life. Enjoy!

"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn." Psalm 18: 32-36

Boy or Girl?

Let me start this blog off by saying we DON'T know the sex of Baby Urbizo just yet! Soon enough though! And we will announce it on September 11 after our gender reveal party! Below is a picture of the Cake Design I am using for our Gender Reveal Cake! We have two very sweet friends who are making this for us! yay!

I have been asked the question A LOT about whether we prefer a boy or a girl! So here are my feelings on all of this! I personally have no preference! All babies are from God and I know he will bless us with whatever he wants to! Scott on the other hand thinks it is a boy, wants a boy, talks to it like its a boy, and has dreams about it being a boy! So I think it is safe to say he is on TEAM BLUE! He also though would be happy either way! All we pray for is a healthy, happy baby!

For the past 5 weeks I have been working in the NICU on my acute care rotation! It has been so awesome and scary all at the same time. These babies are NOT your normal, healthy babies so I tend to freak myself out a lot. I have gotten to see C sections and vaginal births! I have to say neither one looks pleasant to me! This experience has been so awesome! They have seen me from my most vulnerable point (I was at 11 weeks when I started this rotation) to now at 16 weeks be able to actually be excited! I have learned so much! I now know how to feed a baby, burp a baby, change a diaper, and so much more! The best part about this rotation is the faith surrounding this place. The doctors and the nurses love God and trust him with each and every baby. It is such a wonderful place to be!

So at this point I have only told our names to close family & friends as well as all the NICU people! If we have a boy his name will be Hudson Randall Urbizo. Hudson because 1. It is the only boy name Scott & I agree on, 2. Scott likes that the meaning of the name means an adventurer and explorer and 3. Growing up I had a grandfather figure in my life named Dr. Hudson. Unfortunately, he passed away when I was about 13 and I couldn't think of a better way to honor him then name my son after him. Randall is my Dad's middle name and since I was his only child & I recently dropped his last name we figured we better carry him on in some way or another. Scott's dad was a little hurt by this...he thought it should be named Hudson Charles Urbizo after him. Sorry Chuckie! You have 6 of us Urbizo's to carry on your name and my daddy only has me! Now for our girl name...Copelyn Reese Urbizo. Ahh I just love it! Copelyn because my grandmother on my mom's side was named Copeland & my middle name is Copeland. I loved her so much but unfortunately she passed away when I was just five of breast cancer. She was such a beautiful woman and I hope I can be half the wife and mother she was throughout her life. She is the one who came up with our famous Chocolate Poundcake recipe that everyone loves so much. She also was quite the smocker & sewer. I have over 30 dresses that I wore as a little girl that she made and hopefully I will get to dress one of our little girls in them one day. Reese because Scott loves Reese Witherspoon! I am very confident in his love for me and he is a very loyal man but this is his one celebrity "crush". I am pretty sure if she showed up on our doorstep, I would be a goner! haha I had to let Scott have some say so in our girl name and that is what he came up with! Oh me....

So come September 11 we will know for sure what this sweet little one is that is growing inside of me! It amazes me everyday and brings me to tears that our wonderful God designed this sweet baby inside of me. There is a song that comes to mind about God creating each and every part of us in his own image to glorify him. This song reminds me in my fear that God made each of us to be intimate with Him. That he is not a God who stands far away from me as we live this hard life. God is love (1 John 4:16). We were created by Love and for love. We are meant to have intimacy with God as well as with each other. Now you are asking yourself...Well what is intimacy?

I found this awesome definition from another blog titled Holy Spirit Driven.
"Intimacy includes so much more than just the physical, it also includes emotions (heart), thoughts (mind) and the will (spirit)....Intimacy comes when we share all of ourselves with another. But, we must understand that at its core, intimacy is more than just a constant level of relating. Intimacy is the experience of sharing life together."

This is so comforting to know that our God created our baby with this in mind and every other baby in the world. We are created so intricately and we are his precious design! Now that is GREAT NEWS!

"Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29

This is my prayer for our baby that it always follows Jesus and comes to Jesus to carry its burdens on both the good days and the bad days because this life on earth is only temporary and a Life with Jesus is eternal.

So what do you think BOY OR GIRL!?